A grief scientist revealed the one sentence every parent needs

This episode is for anyone who has kids. If you've ever frozen when your kid asked a death question, start here. Welcome to the first of many "Ask the Expert" episodes at Dead Dads. Dr. Korie Leigh is a thanatologist — a grief scientist. She told us the exact words to use when your kid asks where grandpa went. Not "passed away." Not "went to sleep." Most of us use soft language to protect kids from death. Dr. Korie's research says that backfires — hard. Kids fill gaps with stories scarier than the truth. This episode is about what actually works when you're a grieving dad who now has to explain death to a five-year-old. We cover the fish story, the fence story, why the five stages of grief aren't real, and the single most important sentence to say to a child after someone dies. 🎧 In this episode, you'll learn: The exact words to use when your kid asks where someone went. Why the five stages of grief aren't real. The two-conversation method. What "re-grieving" is and why it's normal. Instrumental vs. intuitive grieving. Why Dr. Korie Leigh says "died by suicide" — never "committed." How to explain cremation to a child without terrifying them. 👨‍👦 Meet Dr. Korie Leigh Dr. Korie Leigh is a thanatologist — which, as she'll tell you, is a fancy word for someone who studies death, dying, grief, and loss for a living. She teaches this stuff at the university level. She sees kids, youth, and families in her clinical practice. She trains hospices, hospitals, and schools on how to build grief-informed communities. And now she's written a book — When Everything Changes — that takes all that academic and clinical knowledge and makes it actually usable for real families at the worst possible moment. She's also the first expert we've ever had on the show. Which means we're trying to behave. We'll see. You can find When Everything Changes here: https://www.mcnallyrobinson.com/97988... ⏱️ Episode chapters 00:00 — What the hell is a thanatologist? 03:50 — "Death is a teachable moment" 05:30 — Why kids invent scarier stories than the truth 06:20 — The exact words: "Their body stops working forever" 07:10 — The fish died. Not "went to sleep." 08:30 — Re-grieving: why kids revisit loss as they grow 10:50 — Instrumental vs. intuitive grievers (Kenneth Doka) 12:00 — "I couldn't save my son, but I could fix this damn fence" 15:00 — Where to start when you're a numb, detached dad 16:30 — The five stages of grief? Debunked. 17:20 — Grief shows up in your guts, not just your head 19:40 — How to explain cremation to a child 21:00 — Biology vs. belief: the two-conversation method 22:00 — Why we say "died by suicide" — never "committed" 24:35 — Her book When Everything Changes Meet another guy in the club → Matty Woods on his dad's funeral, which had only two rules:    • The Raw Reality of Watching My Father Choo...   🖤 About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them. You’re not alone. ☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast Follow Dead Dads: Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ YouTube:    / @deaddadspodcast   Instagram:   / deaddadspodcast   TikTok:   / dead.dads.podcast   Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBP... Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... New episodes every week. Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/