I Can’t Keep Creating Like This

This year, my camera bag has to do more than just hold gear… it has to take care of me too. Right after I wrapped up my Birdtober trip, life flipped pretty fast. I had to move out, move in with my girlfriend, give up the home gym, add a commute, and for the first time in a long time… I couldn’t keep up with weekly uploads. I dropped to a bi-weekly schedule, scrapped half the videos I filmed on that trip, and realized I’d been living to “feed the beast” instead of making videos that felt sustainable and meaningful. On top of that, I hit burnout again. After a full year dedicated to Hawaiʻi’s native birds and finally photographing the male ʻakepa at Hakalau, my creative tank was empty. Milky Way season was over, I wasn’t feeling landscapes on Oʻahu, and I had no idea what my next “big theme” for 2026 should be. So instead of forcing it, I stopped shooting for a while. In this video, I talk about that burnout honestly, and share how I’m trying to reconnect with my work again by digging through 250+ TB of old photos and videos on my NAS, revisiting locations like Sandy’s and the Kaiwi coast, and giving myself permission to improve old ideas instead of constantly chasing something new. I’m calling it my Reconnecting Project: using the stories I’ve already captured as the foundation for whatever 2026 becomes. And because my life is now this weird blend of birding before work, 12-hour CVICU shifts, gym days, and seascapes, I also needed a camera bag that could actually support that. After testing a few options, I landed on the Nomatic Peter McKinnon 25L as my main bag going into 2026, not as a flex piece of gear, but as a practical reset that lets me carry the essentials for photography and real life without wrecking my back. If you’ve been feeling burnt out, or like your creative life and real life are fighting each other, I hope this one hits home. 💛 Let me know in the comments what you’re changing this year—schedule, gear, habits, anything—to build a more balanced way of creating. 📅 Support Conservation & This Channel I’ve created two Birds of Hawaiʻi calendars featuring images from Hakalau and across the islands. A portion of proceeds is donated to conservation organizations working to protect native birds and their habitats. 👉 Calendars linked below. https://www.spencerleephotography.com... Chapters 00:00: Sandy's Life Update 05:50: Burnout… Again (Post-Birdtober Crash) 12:13: The Reconnection Project 20:20: The New Camera Bag 30:33: Epic Sunrise Wrap-Up 📸 Main Photo & Video Gear (Some links may be affiliate links, which help support the channel at no extra cost to you.) Backpack: Nomatic PM 25L: https://bhpho.to/3L2VscW ThinkTank Backlight Sprint: https://amzn.to/48fQoKN Shimoda (“Lee10” for 10% off): https://shimodadesigns.com/action-x/ Cameras: Sony a1ii: https://bhpho.to/487Ql2p Sony a7v: https://bhpho.to/4jpJOFD Sony ZVE1: https://bhpho.to/4rvrtL4 Meta Oakley HSTN: https://bhpho.to/47ZmpXu iPhone 17 Pro Max: https://amzn.to/4o3TYfV Lenses: Sony 300mm GM: https://bhpho.to/3KaBcpc Sigma 20-200: https://bhpho.to/4a8IV1u Sony 14mm GM: https://bhpho.to/3MXf0jw Sony 16mm: https://bhpho.to/3LTtLDo Teleconverters: 2x: https://bhpho.to/3KdT56p 1.4x: https://bhpho.to/4rdRJJw Drones: DJI Mavic 4 Pro: https://bhpho.to/4jlmNn6 DJI Mini 4 Pro: https://bhpho.to/4aFOIMt Tripods: FLM: https://bhpho.to/3XdcmrD Ballhead: https://bhpho.to/48es5vA PD Pro Lite: https://bhpho.to/4aJG2EQ