【虐待サバイバーの後遺症】大人になって終わりじゃない…虐待サバイバー"後遺症"の現実と治療の現場を取材　不調の理由を探ると子ども期の過酷な体験が (24/01/21 19:00)

It doesn't end when you become an adult. An abuse survivor who was abused as a child. We interviewed the patient to learn about the serious aftereffects and treatment options. Tokachi Mutsumi Clinic is a small hospital located in a residential area of ​​Obihiro City. Many patients visit the clinic's director, psychiatrist Mutsuo Naganuma, every day. "First, before you can help others, you have to help yourself," says Mutsuo Naganuma, director of Tokachi Mutsumi Clinic. "Yes," says a patient. Insomnia, anxiety about interpersonal relationships... Mr. Naganuma's interviews focus on the patient's life from childhood onward. "How close do you feel to your parents?" (Director Naganuma) "I just do what I'm told." (Patient) "Even now?" (Director Naganuma) "Even now. I can't rebel." (Patient) Exploring the underlying cause of illness can sometimes lead to complex family environments during childhood. There is a survey that we have been having some patients take for the past five years. ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) = Adverse Childhood Experiences. We ask about abuse and neglect experienced as a child, as well as life with an addicted parent. The higher the score, the more adverse the impact on physical and mental health in adulthood. "There's no doubt that a harsh upbringing often plays a role." (Director Naganuma) These are serious impacts caused by childhood experiences. "When I use a knife, I always point the blade outwards. I feel like I might get cut by the blade, and that's what scares me," says Kozue. Kozue, 40, lives in Tomakomai City. She is an abuse survivor who survived despite being abused as a child. She was originally from Asahikawa City. When she was four, her parents separated, and she and her younger sister were left in the care of her grandparents. When she was ten, she moved in with her mother, who lived in Tokyo, but she began to suffer violence from the man who lived with her mother. "He hit my younger sister. Her face was bleeding, and I told him off. So he hit her again, choked me, pulled my hair, dragged me down the hallway, and threw me down the stairs. There were about 13 steps, right?" says Kozue. What made her even more tormented was the sexual abuse that began during adolescence. "She would open the bathroom door... She must have known I was in there. I couldn't say anything more to my mother. It was so disgusting, unpleasant, and horrible. I thought that person was dirty, so I felt like I was dirty too, like the worst." (Kozue) Worried that the situation would get worse, she couldn't bring herself to talk to her teachers at school. "Even if I told an adult, I'd never had anything work out for me, so I was worried that it would escalate and I'd get bullied at school, or the guy would do more to me, or my mother would lose her balance and end up in the hospital." (Kozue) At the age of 20, she became pregnant and gave birth to a girl. She qualified as a nurse and worked while raising her daughter. She showered her with love, letting her take any extracurricular activities she wanted. However, when her daughter started elementary school, she began to lose control of her emotions more and more. "His anger was so impulsive that I couldn't tell if he was angry at our daughter, or if she was using him as a trigger to vent his anger. When our daughter couldn't practice piano well, he would rip up the sheet music and hit her in anger. Even though he was the one who did it to me." Four years ago, her body also began to show signs of abnormality. She lost her appetite and had trouble sleeping. She lost 10 kilograms in two months. "At that time, I couldn't eat and I was always cold. I went to a gastroenterologist who did an endoscopy and colonoscopy, thinking something might be wrong with my internal organs, but they found nothing wrong. Since I had suddenly lost weight, they investigated whether it was Graves' disease, but it turned out to be something else, and I just couldn't figure it out," says Kozue. She went from hospital to hospital without knowing the cause, and finally ended up at a psychiatrist, where she recounts her childhood experiences. She was then diagnosed with "Complex PTSD," a condition caused by childhood abuse that causes problems with emotional regulation and interpersonal relationships, hindering social life, as well as "Bipolar Disorder," which causes extreme mood swings. It was then that she first learned that the abuse had had an impact. "They told me that losing my temper easily was a symptom. I'd been told many times that I worried and cared too much, but someone finally acknowledged that there had been a reason for that somewhere along the way. There was an adult who understood my pain, and just knowing that made me feel better. You can't do everything, though." (Kozue) She is currently continuing her treatment with medication and counseling. There is something she had never been able to see before. A c...