Behind my Hands

There are some things I can’t hide from. Not even… „Behind my Hands“ by Gennaio Winger [Verse 1] [I put my hands across my eyes the way they said would help press the palms until it hurts, until I can't see anything else. But the dark behind my fingers isn't empty, isn't blank there's a shape that learned my thinking and it's sitting where I sank. [Pre-Chorus] I can shut the door, I can kill the light, I can fold into the wall but the thing I'm hiding from tonight isn't in the room at all. [Chorus] It's behind my hands, behind my hands, where the hiding should be safe but it moved in through my open eyes and it will not leave the space. I can't unsee, I can't unknow, I can't unlearn the sight so I press my palms and pray for black and it glows back twice as bright. [Verse 2] They tell a child to look away, they think the eyes are doors like you shut them and you're clean again, like the seeing isn't yours. But I carried it inside the lid, I built it its own room and every time I close my eyes I'm alone with it in the gloom. [Pre-Chorus] I can shut the door, I can kill the light, I can fold into the wall but the thing I'm hiding from tonight isn't in the room at all. [Chorus] It's behind my hands, behind my hands, where the hiding should be safe but it moved in through my open eyes and it will not leave the space. I can't unsee, I can't unknow, I can't unlearn the sight so I press my palms and pray for black and it glows back twice as bright. [Bridge] The hands were never armor they were bars across a cage with the animal already in it, already on the page. You don't keep the monster outside when you cover up your face you just seal it in the dark with you and you give it all the space. So look or don't look, it's the same it lives behind the eye. It blinks when I blink. [Outro] Behind my hands... behind my hands... the only light that's left. I made a room for what I saw and now it keeps me kept. —— voc: Gennaio Winger drms: Gennaio Winger fx/synth: Bodoh mix: Gennaio Winger (using Suno Studio & Logic Pro) img: Gennaio Winger (digital painting, 2010, improved with Photoshop)