No Tip, No Trip

Lyrics No Tip, No Trip [Intro] “New order available… $2.13… 14 point 7 miles…” …DoorDash got to be lying... [Verse 1] Phone buzzin’ every two damn seconds App talkin’ like I learned my lesson “High paying order!” — yeah alright Three dollars flat for a forty-minute ride Customer want sixteen sauce packs Apartment hidden in the damn outback No gate code, dog off leash Then they text “hurry please :)” Gas so high I cried at Shell Pump hit ninety, I whispered “well…” At this point I’m delivering food Just to afford driving to deliver food Instacart got me lifting weights Forty-eight cans and a crate of grapes Three flights up and no elevator Tip came through… one damn quarter [Pre-Chorus] App keep sayin’ “be your own boss” Funny ‘cause the boss still screwin’ us all Independent contractor, technically true Till support copy-paste lies to you [Chorus] These apps got jokes These apps got jokes “Guaranteed earnings” got me absolutely broke Ten mile trip for two dollar pay Man I spend more breathing all day Car suspension fighting for its life Check engine light became my wife We ain’t lazy, we just poor Trying not to die at your front door If you ain’t tipping, food gon’ sit Somebody had to finally say that shit [Verse 2] Uber Eats sent me to Taco Bell Lobby closed so now I’m trapped in hell Drive-thru line wrapped round the block I aged six years in that parking lot Customer textin’ every ten seconds “Where you at?” like I control traffic weapons Ma’am I’m fighting for my damn survival And your burrito bowl arrival DoorDash support got jokes too “Have you tried restarting you?” Meanwhile my tire soundin’ suspicious And the app says “keep delivering!” Got one dude tipped me twenty cash Almost made me cry real fast Another dude ordered steak and shrimp Then tipped me zero like a little pimp People think we make bank all day Nah, most that money go to gas and pay Oil changes, brakes, insurance too My Honda held together with Mountain Dew [Pre-Chorus] We don’t work for free This ain’t charity You want fast food luxury That costs delivery [Chorus] These apps got jokes These apps got jokes “Flexible schedule” still financially choked Four dollar gas and a broken fan belt Crying in the car at a Chick-fil-A melt Smile in your Ring cam nice and polite Then scream at the steering wheel all night We ain’t lazy, we just tired One more bad order and the car retired If you ain’t tipping, food gon’ sit Somebody had to finally say that shit [Bridge] You ever notice the app says “You’re making great earnings!” Then you do the math and realize You made seven dollars in two hours? And somehow your car lost three years of life. Transmission slipping AC dead Phone overheating on the dash again Fifty pounds groceries No damn tip Customer watching through the blinds and shit Apps keep lowering driver pay Then ask why nobody wants to stay Cause Becky, I can’t drive twelve miles For enough money to buy one Sprite TWO DOLLAR ORDER? HELL NO NO TIP ADDED? WON’T GO TEN MILES AWAY? HELL NO CAR HELD TOGETHER BY HOPE AND SMOKE “Please complete this order to maintain your acceptance rate.” Acceptance rate? Brother my survival rate dropping. [Final Chorus] These apps got jokes But we still out here Running on caffeine, stress, and fear Delivering dinner while bills stack high Watching gas prices touch the sky And if your driver still smiles tonight Trust me… they fighting demons in traffic lights We real people Trying to survive One bad transmission from ruining our lives [Outro] “New order available…” $2.01. …absolutely the fuck not.