Why Queer Women Lose Themselves In Relationships | Self-Abandonment Explained

Do you find yourself saying yes when you mean no? Avoiding difficult conversations to keep the peace? Losing touch with your own needs in relationships? This may be self-abandonment, one of the most common yet overlooked patterns many queer women and lesbians experience in love. In this video, Dr. Lauren Costine — The Queer Women's Psychologist — breaks down what self-abandonment actually is, why so many lesbian and queer women develop it as a form of self-protection, and one simple body-based practice you can start using today to begin catching the pattern in real time. In this video, you will learn: What self-abandonment actually is, and why it is harder to notice than most patterns, because it can feel like simply keeping the peace or being easy to love How it shows up in real life: saying yes when you mean no, not bringing up something hard, swallowing a hurt because you are scared of how she will react Why have so many queer and lesbian women been doing this for decades, suppressing who we are to stay safe, fit in, and survive, and how that protective pattern stops working in adulthood How overriding your internal signals over and over again teaches your nervous system that those signals are not trustworthy, and how that erodes self-trust What the research says about self-silencing: it leads to depression, anxiety, and a deep erosion in your connection to your own inner world A simple, body-based practice you can start using right now: pause, place your hand on your chest, and ask, "Is this a yes for me, or is this to keep the peace?" How that pause interrupts the pre-programmed pattern in the brain and gives your prefrontal cortex a chance to come back online This video is for you if you are a queer woman or lesbian who: Tends to override your feelings to manage someone else's emotional state Find yourself saying yes when your body means no Avoids difficult conversations about money, family, exes, and boundaries to keep love from leaving Feels a low-grade sense of emptiness or something missing Struggles to trust your own instincts in relationships Has been doing this for so long that it has become automatic This is not about becoming someone who never compromises. It is about learning to stay in a relationship without losing yourself in the process. Your inner world is craving a relationship with you. FREE RESOURCES 📖 The Regulation Toolkit http://bit.ly/drlaurenregulationtoolkit 📖 Find Your Key Pattern Guide http://bit.ly/patternkey 📖 A Queer Women's Breakup Survival Guide http://lovedrlauren.com 🌿 Learn more about working with Dr. Lauren: http://lovedrlauren.com ━━━━━━━━━━━━ CONNECT WITH DR. LAUREN Instagram: @‌drlaurencostine TikTok: @‌askdrlauren Facebook: Lauren D. Costine, Phd ━━━━━━━━━━━━ #SelfAbandonment #QueerWomen #LesbianRelationships #PeoplePleasing #SelfTrust #NervousSystemHealing #AttachmentHealing #QueerMentalHealth #LesbianMentalHealth #EmotionalSafety #SelfSilencing #InnerWork #DrLaurenCostine #QueerPsychologist #LesbianPsychologist #HealingRelationships #SelfIntimacy #TraumaInformed #AttachmentPatterns #LGBTQMentalHealth