Multi-Couples/Multi-Friendships - "Shout" (The Joy & Pain of My Queerplatonic Relationship)

Turn on CC (Closed Captions)! (Voiceovers also transcribed + more: http://violetemerald.tumblr.com/post/... ) ~~~~ This was made for season 2, round 2 of GlowingAprilSky's "Who You Are" contest, this time themed around "The Relationship".    • Who you are S02| Round Two[DEADLINE EXTENDED]   The idea was to show a person who helped really change who we are going forward in our life, basically. We participants in the contest were supposed to focus on capturing how they affected us, and how they shaped who we are. ~~~ Urban Dictionary begins defining Queerplatonic as "a relationship which is more intense and intimate than is considered common or normal for a 'friendship', but doesn't fit the traditional sexual-romantic couple model." Every Queerplatonic Relationship (QPR) or set of Queerplatonic Partners (QPP) is different, chooses the terminology for different reasons, and that's really the beauty of it. This is a word to describe everything that was forgotten in mainstream culture's narrow boxes of "just friends" vs. "more than friends because of the romantic(&usually sexual too) component". Some sex-averse asexual people are in celibate romantic relationships. But others are in relationships that are "more complicated". Robert* & I met at an asexual meetup group. I was 25, he was 26. He leaned gay and had no attraction towards women (I'm female) but we bonded quickly over having a lot in common, and became close friends. I wasn't sure if I was aromantic or panromantic or what, but I knew in the back of my mind I'd like a queerplatonic partner one day. We had a lot of fun, went to concerts together, played board games, watched TV/films, talked about families and pasts including the deep personal stuff, the traumas. He shared about his mental health with me. (*name has been changed) At some point along the way, we realized we wanted similar futures. We both had wanted, since long before we met each other, to become foster parents and later adoptive parents. We were both atheists & while I'd planned to wait to start looking for a qpp to be a co-parent for my future children until after I was no longer unemployed, maybe after I'd figured out where I'd live in the country and stuff, it just happened sooner than I was ready. It was too perfect, too good to pass up, and after we'd known each other for about 7 months we stopped just being super close friends. We became queerplatonic partners. We didn't do anything really different, but we had this shared plan to one day be committed life partners and to for now be logical "plus ones" to events where people might bring significant others, such as his siblings' weddings. We were "together". He broke up with me the 1st time after we'd been QPPs for 4 months. I was really crushed but happy we were at least still friends. It took some time to get back into a groove. We weren't as close. He ended it because he wasn't sure anymore he wanted that future and because he'd been hoping to feel more romantic things for me with time but instead his feelings had remained platonic. He was super important to me, & he'd told me before we broke up that he was thinking of signing up to deploy (as a U.S. civilian contractor) to Afghanistan. He ultimately did leave to go on the 6 month deployment about 2 weeks into me finally having a full time job, long after we'd broken up. But we started texting more, while he was over there. (Facebook messaging, actually.) Our friendship's closeness was rekindled. We each had lots of down time during workdays, and we got back together around 1 month into his deployment. We talked about everything for the 5 months we were in a long distance relationship, shared our lives with each other, and were "together". I told him I looked forward to slow dancing with him one day, and ice skating, etc... we rekindled our plans to become non-biological parents.... Skipping over some details he broke up with me only days after we first saw each other in person for the first time in 6 months. He texted, said he "Couldn't do this anymore", and when I tried to ask why he said he got a call but we'd talk more the next day. I'm going to add some more explanation on tumblr about this vid since I ran out of room in this video description. I had texted a little more after that, asking if our near future plans to do a suicide prevention walk together etc were definitely off (because last time we still did some things together as friends, I thought maybe it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility). He never texted back, never contacted me again. I feel kinda like I was ghosted, abandoned. He never explained why we suddenly after 2 years were just... nothing. This was 6 months ago. This vid should hopefully capture a lot of that (& more?). (Btw: I purposely didn't show ANY kissing.) Please read the final details here: http://violetemerald.tumblr.com/post/...