"Is Anxiety Real in Kids? The Truth Every Parents Must Know. Episode 1 of Goenka Alpha Edge"

GD Goenka Mohali Podcast on Anxiety in Children | Parenting & Child Mental Health The video is a podcast titled "Goenka Alpha Edge podcast" by GD Goenka Mohali. The host, Harman Sidhu , is the academic director and head of communications at the school. The podcast features an interview with Dr. Chhatwal, a professional in mental and emotional health. The conversation centers on the topic of anxiety, specifically the kind children inherit from adults. Key Discussion Points: Children and Anxiety: Dr. Chhatwal believes that children often reflect their parents' anxieties rather than carrying their own. Children are born with a nervous system tuned to the environment, and they use mirror neurons to reflect what is happening around them. If a caregiver is anxious, the child is likely to be anxious, a phenomenon called emotional attunement. The host shares her own experience of her daughter's school anxiety post-COVID, which she later recognized as a transfer of her own unspoken anxiety. Anxiety in Toddlers: A toddler can have anxiety about school, which depends on two things: the emotional state at home and whether the emotions at home are regulated. If there are "emotional dysregulations at home," the child is going to have an "anxiety seed which is sown in". Schools' Role: Schools can help by first educating their teachers and caregivers through psychological classes. Subtle Ways Parental Stress Transfers to Children: Parental stress transfers through the tone of voice, even when using kind words. A parent being rushed in the morning or multitasking, being physically present but mentally or emotionally absent, can also cause transfer of anxiety. Too much "helicopter parenting" and correcting the child rather than connecting with them can also contribute. Children also pick up cues from body language, such as shallow breathing or stiff shoulders, which can put the child's nervous system into a "hyper alert mode". Academic Pressure and Anxiety: Academic pressure is a very common cause of anxiety in the country. When parents' expectations carry emotional weight, the child may think that performing well academically means receiving approval and feeling safe. If they don't perform well, they feel disapproval or it reflects on their self-esteem, leading them to feel that love is conditional. This feeling that they must perform and should not rest is the "seed of anxiety". Parents often feel judged if their child is not doing well and then put pressure on the child. Raising Resilient Children: Parents should encourage a motivation to attempt and try, without a fear of failure. When children learn from failure, they become resilient, curious, and confident (RCC). Regulating Parental Anxiety: Parents should practice the pause and reduce urgency. When a child reacts inappropriately, the adult should pause, take a deep breath, and handle the situation. It is best to tell the child you will talk about it later if you don't have a clear answer. Dealing with Instant Gratification: Dr. Chhatwal suggests leading by example and explaining the pros and cons of instant gratification to the child during quality time. He also notes that much of the instant gratification is a result of the parents' own impatience to get the "monkey off our back". Creating Emotionally Safe Homes: Emotionally safe homes are accepting, emotionally connected, and predictable. They allow children to express their emotions unconditionally. In these homes, there is a separation of behavior from identity; a child is not a bad child, but the behavior is bad. Correction is always secondary to connection. The child feels protected, safe, and knows they are loved unconditionally. The 5 A's for Raising Children: Dr. Chhatwal quotes David Rico's "Five A's" from the book How to Be an Adult in Relationships: Affection: Give unconditional love. Allowing: Allow the child to experiment, fail, and learn from failure. Attention: Give undivided attention. Acceptance: Accept the child even if they fail or make mistakes. Appreciation: Appreciate the child and do not take good behavior for granted. Children who grow up strong are those who face challenges but have someone holding their hand with calm, consistency, connection, care, and compassion.