An Ode to Mister Homn (Star Trek TNG)

An Ode to Mister Homn, as sung by Lwaxana Troi. Very roughly based on the song It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones Check out my Star Trek Songs playlist:    • Star Trek   Lyrics: [Verse 1] I sweep into the room and every gaze begins to trace, A daughter of the Fifth House with a smile on my face. The captain is retreating as his eyes fill up with dread, I’m far too much to handle for his shiny bald French head. But standing at my shoulder, calm as glass upon the lake, Is the tallest quietest gentleman the gods will ever make [Pre-Chorus] He doesn’t fluster. He doesn’t get rough. He simply appears with the tray and the glass — And somehow that says quite enough. [Chorus] It’s not unusual, Mr. Homn to see me shine, It’s not unusual, Mr. Homn for me to make them pine. But when the room goes spinning And each man forgets his place, You stand there without grinning, Never joining in the race. Oh Mr. Homn, You’re the quiet in my thunder, The peace within my grace. [Verse 2] Picard may dodge my glances with his diplomatic art, And half the Fleet may panic when I open up my heart. But you, my dear companion know the burden of my station, A woman of such grandeur needs your gentle ministration. [Pre-Chorus] You pour the wine. You move the chair. You rescue the room from collapsing beneath The weight of my excellent flair. [Chorus] It’s not unusual, Mr. Homn to see me shine, It’s not unusual, Mr. Homn for me to make them pine. They chatter and they stammer, They crumble and they plead, But you just stand there blinking With everything I need. Oh, Mr. Homn, You’re the quiet in my thunder, The enactor of my creed. [Bridge] Some want conversation, some they want romance, Some just want to take my hand and whirl me through a dance. But you get me, you know me, for you it simply clicks, You adore the holder of the sacred chalice of Rixx [Verse 3] So fetch my robe of splendor and my most alarming hat, We’ll visit poor Jean-Luc again and see what comes of that. Let Deanna roll her eyes, let the Enterprise grow wary— When Lwaxana Troy arrives, the night gets legendary. [Outro] Mr. Homn, My quiet man of grace, If silence had a posture — It would have your face.