Finding Out at 64

Episode Summary: Some people receive a DID diagnosis in their twenties. Some in their forties. And some spend more than six decades trying to understand themselves before finally finding an answer. In this deeply honest conversation, we’re joined by Tom from The Kids Are in Charge, diagnosed just 14 months ago at age 64. What began as a frightening wellness check during a period of profound loss ultimately opened the door to understanding a lifetime of experiences that suddenly made sense. Together we explore the grief of a late diagnosis, the challenges of being a man with DID, the isolation that can come with aging, and the surprising ways healing emerges when parts finally have room to be seen. But this conversation is also about something else: What happens when you spend 64 years believing one story about yourself—and then discover there’s another one underneath it? Thoughtful, vulnerable, funny, and full of hard-won wisdom, this is a conversation about survival, self-discovery, and learning what it means to finally live with compassion for all the parts that got you here. Inside This Conversation • Receiving a DID diagnosis later in life • Why dissociation is so often missed • Reinterpreting a lifetime of memories through a new lens • The unique challenges men face when navigating trauma and dissociation • Music, creativity, work, and the different parts that show up for each • Finding community later in life • Learning to care for younger parts • Moving from survival mode toward connection, compassion, and genuine relaxation A Line That Stays With You “I don’t know if I’m tired… or if this is what relaxed feels like.” Timestamps 03:20 — The wellness check that changed everything 06:50 — Looking back through a dissociative lens 24:00 — Discovering new parts through video journals 31:00 — When the wrong part shows up for work 39:30 — Doubt, denial, and "Holy Moses" moments 53:30 — Being a man with DID Resources Find Tom at The Kids Are In Charge (  / thekidscharge  ) on Instagram For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org (http://healingmyparts.org) Healing My Parts Substack (https://healingmyparts.substack.com/) @healingmyparts (  / healingmyparts  ) on Instagram Whether you're a system navigating your own journey or a clinician supporting one, we'd love to connect. Consults & Services for Professionals (https://www.healingmyparts.org/for-pr...) and Consultations for Systems (https://www.healingmyparts.org/servic...) Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜 Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe (https://healingmyparts.substack.com/s...)