20/04/2013 Spud's Coaching Application Reading

This Saturday Rub clip features JB, Garry, Spud and Damo with the introduction of what could become a new Triple M Rub series in the vein of Damo's earlier readings of Black and White: The Taylor Diaries in 2009. Damo has got a hold of a copy of the coaching application document Spud compiled in his successful attempt to land the Richmond coaching job back in 1999. The alleged source of this is Tony "Chompers" Jones, though Damo will not confirm, while Spud will probably maim him for it. It's not off to a great start on page 1, where there's two spelling errors: Freemantle and Leigh Mathews. Spud's first erroneous claim is that he has an excellent background in the media and corporate sector. Jim asks the obvious question, and the only media background Spud had at that point was when he played Sherlock Holmes in the kids show AFL Squadron. Perhaps the funniest part comes next, when he lists his interests as computers and internet (so typical of everyone's resumé these days, isn't it?) but of course back then, Garry reckons there wasn't even a computer around, and considering Spud's skills, he'd have no hope operating either one of them. The reactions there are bloody hilarious. And his next interest? Reading. Followed by, sports trivia, to which Garry responds by saying he needs to cheat to win the Triple M quizzes. Notice how Spud barely defends these claims, until time management comes up. It gets worse. He claims he was "Head of Junior Development and Promotions" and Garry CAN NOT believe it! "What's wrong with that?" Spud says, after getting up out of his chair in outrage. And when Garry questions it, Spud's reply is brilliant. He even goes as far as to say as Garry and Gavin Brown were his underlings, but concedes Kevin Sheehan was perhaps the real Head. But there's more: he brands himself the Victorian country underage tennis champion. More laughter bursts out, and Spud gets up to belt Purple. Next on the list of achievements was Victorian country under-sixteen cross-country champion. And now the most ridiculous claim: he reckons he's helped Collingwood players Gavin Crocisca and out-and-out legend Nathan Buckley learn new tricks. Garry and Jim can't believe he's claiming Bucks, "one of the all-time greats." It's here that they decide Damo has to hold some of this back so the gold can be spread over a few weeks. Spud says what hurts him the most is that his best mate Garry is laughing at him, and he's close to saying something that will need to be beeped out. One final one: Spud says he's put together the best video and computer setup in AFL football. That's enough, and Spud clubs him, and demands he pull up. It takes a whole ten minutes before he admits there might have been a few embellishments. Then the tweets follow with some funny reactions, and then one guy says Garry should have a shave. Garry's response is a good one. And Spud threatens his vengeance, which is vision of one of these three guys (my guess is Warrior) and he's going to bring it to the table next week. Stay tuned for that one. All content owned by Southern Cross Austereo.