The Real Reason You're Still Stuck In That Relationship That Won't Change

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast Every Tuesday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here. It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode! What To Expect In This Episode EP 25: The Real Reason You're Still Stuck In That Relationship That Won't Change Welcome and thank you for your interest in this episode. This is one of those episodes that is geared towards a specific person. The person who has been stuck in one or multiple relationships like this and is truly sick of the merry-go-round where things just never change. If you’re in this spot, It’s actually very common. In fact, I can think of a few relationships in my life where I’m still applying the knowledge from this work. The reason why I’m talking about this today is because I used to have WAY more relationships that fit into this category, and I’ve actually managed to turn some of those around, while letting go of others. In this episode I’m going to share my findings with you and show you how you can “feel these relationships out” to see if change is possible. By the end, you’ll know some steps you can take to find this out and you’ll also know how to deal with these relationships moving forward if they can’t be changed. So if you’re in this situation allow me to speak to you directly. The odds are high that you’re experiencing this frustration, or even anger because you’re stuck expecting the other person to change things. When I talk about being "stuck," I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. This happens with family members, friends, business partners - any relationship where you feel like you're doing all the work and getting nowhere. Here's what I see all the time: You're the one trying to fix things when they go wrong. You're investing in yourself - learning better communication skills, taking responsibility for your mistakes, being more honest about what you need. Meanwhile, the other person? Same old patterns. Same old responses. They avoid the hard conversations. They get defensive when you bring up real issues. They act like your needs are a burden. Or here's a big one - they keep treating you like you're still the person you were five years ago, even though you've clearly changed. What happens is you end up carrying the entire relationship. You're doing your work AND trying to compensate for the fact that they're not doing theirs. It's exhausting. There’s a lot of false hope here., You keep thinking that if you just get better at this, if you're patient enough, if you find the right words - eventually they'll step up and meet you halfway. I've watched people spend years in this cycle. And I’ve been there myself. But here's what I've learned from personal experience and working with so many people in this situation: relationships don't change because one person is working overtime. Both people have to be willing to show up and do the work. If you feel like you're having the same conversations over and over, making the same requests, hitting the same walls - that's your answer right there. You're not failing. You're just trying to change a dynamic that requires both of your efforts. You can’t do this alone. No one can. It’s just not sustainable. So how do you actually know if this is what's happening? Here are the patterns I see over and over again: You're always the one bringing up the hard stuff. Every conversation about boundaries, accountability, or fixing things after a conflict - that's all you. They never initiate these discussions. When you do bring something up, they make YOU the problem. You’re trying to address an issue and suddenly you're "too sensitive" or "never happy" or "always bringing up drama." They take the focus off themselves by making you self-conscious about how you’re acting. Another one I hear about a lot is: They're still responding to the old version of you. You've done real work on yourself - you communicate differently, you've changed your patterns, you've clearly evolved in some way. But they keep treating you like you're exactly the same person you were years ago. They don’t acknowledge how far you’ve come or the positive changes you’ve made. A ...