When Good Moms Feel Bad: Supporting Mothers in Therapy with IFS and the Mom Parts Method – An Int...

If you work with mothers, you have almost certainly heard some version of the whispered confession: "I think I'm a bad mom." Therapists often respond with validation or self-care suggestions, and sometimes our own parts quietly panic alongside our clients. But what if rage, shame, panic, and the inner critic are not signs a mother is failing, but protector parts trying to help a depleted, under-resourced human being survive? Curt and Katie talk with Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT, about what therapists often get wrong when working with mothers, how Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be adapted for the real conditions of motherhood, and why "bad mom" parts deserve curiosity rather than correction. Jessica is the creator of the Mom Parts Method and author of When Good Moms Feel Bad (Balance, 2026). -- Link tree: https://linktr.ee/therapyreimagined Show notes (including a full transcript): https://therapyreimagined.com/modern-... -- About Our Guest: Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT is a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist, IFSI Approved Clinical Consultant, and a Certified Perinatal Mental Health therapist (PMH-C) with advanced training in IFIO. She brings a wealth of compassion and knowledge about maternal mental health to the clinical training and supervision of therapists as well as to the healing journeys of mothers. She is the creator of the Mom Parts Method, an application of IFS into the realm of motherhood that gives moms simple language for working with their big feelings as well as giving them a way to access their own well-resourced Inner Mom. She's spent more than 15 years helping moms discover that all their parts (even the "bad" ones) make sense, and her groundbreaking book, “When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide for Transforming Guilt, Anxiety and Anger into Compassion, Confidence and Connectedness” (Balance, 2026) teaches moms how to unblend from and befriend their parts. Jessica trains clinicians through her Mothercentered certification program and offers a membership community for moms navigating their own parts work. www.momparts.com In this Podcast Episode: Working with Mothers Using IFS and the Mom Parts Method Jessica walks us through why traditional IFS vocabulary often does not meet mothers where they actually are, how the Mom Parts Method translates parts work into accessible, motherhood-native language, and what therapists can do differently when guilt, rage, shame, and grief show up in session. The conversation also touches on matrescence, patriarchy, the protective function of "bad mom" parts, and what comes up for therapists (especially therapist-mothers) doing this work. Key Takeaways for Therapists: Maternal Mental Health, Mom Shame, and Parts Work -Shame is the taboo. Anything that does not look nurturing or competent feels dangerous for mothers to name, which makes normalization and attunement especially powerful in session. -Context before content. Naming patriarchy, structural under-resourcing, and matrescence helps mothers stop pathologizing their own internal responses. -"Bad mom" parts are protectors. Rage, panic, perfectionism, and the inner critic are trying to get something back for a depleted mother, not undermine her. -Mothers already have Inner Mom energy. Therapists can bookmark moments of attuned parenting as evidence of the client's existing capacity, then help her redirect it toward her own inner baby. -Therapist parts mirror mom parts. The "good therapist" system often shares the structure of the "good mom" system, which is why this work doubles as personal healing for many clinicians. -Healing is wholeness, not elimination. The goal is not to make hard feelings disappear, but to build enough capacity to be with them differently. The Mom Parts Method: A Five-Step Framework -Meditation or triggering event. Start where the mother already is. -Identify the parts. A deck of 29 named mom parts helps get them out of the fog. -Name the truths. 14 anti-patriarchal truths that validate the part's experience. -Locate the inescapable vulnerability. Shame or grief. -Offer the remedy. One of the 8 C's of Self energy, plus a ninth (choice), from inside the mother's own system. Meet the Hosts: Curt Widhalm, LMFT http://www.curtwidhalm.com Katie Vernoy, LMFT http://www.katievernoy.com A Quick Note: Our opinions are our own. We are only speaking for ourselves – except when we speak for each other, or over each other. We’re working on it. Our guests are also only speaking for themselves and have their own opinions. We aren’t trying to take their voice, and no one speaks for us either. Mostly because they don’t want to, but hey. Creative Credits: Voice Over by DW McCann   / mccanndw   Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano https://groomsymusic.com/