Why Nonviolent Communication Doesn't Work (If Its Misunderstood)

When I attempt to explain Nonviolent Communication or Authentic Relating, inevitably I get a lot of push back. I think this is because we are all so conditioned in codependency and authoritarianism. We believe that a healthy relationship is when we sacrifice our needs for others and they sacrifice their needs for us, which is actually the recipe for suffering. AND, we confuse universal human needs with our specific strategies to meet them and thus think that our happiness is dependent on controlling another person. Whenever we say, "YOU need to meet my need," we've crossed into strategy territory. In a healthy relationship, both people value (all of) both people's needs being met (even if they can't be the one to meet them). A healthy relationship always requires 2 healthy people, but we only ever have control over half the equation. If/when another person is not able to value our needs being met (to support them not necessarily supply them), then distance is our only option, which requires grief. Watch this video to hear me attempt to clarify common misconceptions and misuses of NVC, and to learn more, go to theordinarysacred.com to access my FREE Self-paced course on Nonviolent Communication Through an IFS Lens. To receive my courses, workshops, meditations, and worksheets as GIFTS, go to theordinarysacred.com. These are the resources available as gifts on my website: IFS 101 Self Paced Course Self Compassion Through an IFS Lens Self Paced Course Nonviolent Communication Through an IFS Lens Self Paced Course Internal Family Systems and Your Body Compass Self Paced Course Healing the Shame Cycle Workshop Healing Inner Critics Workshop 16 IFS and Inner Wisdom Worksheets 12 IFS Meditations To access these resources, sign up for each one on my website, then they will always be available by clicking on "My Library" at the top of my website (make sure you save your password). In gift economy, gifts are not necessarily "free." Instead, I encourage you to check in and give back or forward from gratitude. Maybe there is a gift or service you want to give to some else in need. Or, if you'd like to send a gift of appreciation to me, you can send it via Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/theor... Or my PO Box: 10924 Grant Road, #432, Houston, TX 77070 Join the The Ordinary Sacred IFS Community on Facebook for information about member-led weekly IFS groups (be sure to answer all the questions and agree to the guidelines in order to be admitted):   / 942478214301059   Follow me on Instagram: @the_ordinary_sacred #ifs #internalfamilysystems #ifsteacher #ifspractitioner #ifsteaching #ifs examples #nonviolentcommunication #innerwisdom #bodycompass #Selfleadership