{cc} homebody bunny diaries🐇holiday season & fun time around the ocean!🌠

📜 j o u r n a l i enjoyed visiting monaco and mento a lot, but what interested me the most was to see different lifestyles and see which one suits me and aided me to make important decision about how will i spend my life here on this earth, while appreciating people have different needs and pursuits.. another thing which was on my agenda but the results surprised me was the museum visits - which i really enjoyed and immersed myself into the world of artists. it almost felt like a time capsule of then and how they saw the world, which i deeply resonated with. it makes me wonder if the nature always inspires over the years? other thoughts on nice trip: i have always been intrigued by french culture - ever since i was a kid. now i ralized, it must have rooted in my appreciation into art since a young age. i’ve visited paris, but i was just not enough - i have wondered - where did their appreciation into beauty, fashion and art comes from? i figured, french people have a very soft side - they talk in low volume, but they also appreciate courageous act; thus, there’s a pursuit for merits and ideologies; whenever we told people we were vegans in resteurants, they look at us as they understand what we were doing. they can be shy but they can also be into things very much and devote their life to it - that what i saw when i saw a few pottery arts living in a cave in nice - well, i didn’t personally saw them, i looked at their art works, full of life, not less artful than van gohn’s in my opinion; it contains so much life. these people, they lived a rather simple life, they gave their all to art. that made me wonder - am i as dedicated as them? probably not, i said to myself. so i crossed out the future road of becoming an artist walking out of that cave museum consisits of their artwork. i’ve always wanted to explore careers as i was told to be a lazy person that cannot achieved any when i lost my health from previous social circles. i wanted to prove myself. i wanted to prove that i was not the problem, i was just having set-backs. it was my health. then i reconcile with myself, after art exploring, and looking at the cannes, the red-carpet, i understand the tremendous amount of work put into a star’s appearance at the event and for me personally, the efforts won’t give me what i want. then there’s the trip to monaco. looking at the riches, i know it’s not a life for me either. i’ve been searching for answers, my open-mind lead me to try everything, sometimes hurting myself; but i stopped cos i know what i have now is enough; not lying to myself but enter “simulations,” asking myself questions: what i would feel, what it makes others have to lose. then i gave up many conventional things - not because they are not good enough, but they are just not for me. i care, so i have to try until no one can challenges me - “oh she doesn’t even know this, how can she..” then i traveled, i learned, i read, i bought things including food and clothes, experimented. until i know, they are lying to me. people who care, always care. now i lye on my sofa, do things i do, with absolute confidence, this is my answer, to people i care the most, cos i’ve done enough. that’s how i can rest assured with my own concious. -[entry 0630] 🥥 i n s xiaoxiaosdiary 🎧b g m oneul -matcha green tea    • 토닥토닥 귀여운 음악 모음집 (Royalty Free Music, 1시간, ...   (my mother tongue is chinese, please forgive and refer to chinese subtitles available in cc-chinese if the auto-trans ones become confusing) 🌴you can turn on the bell for notifications of future videos