Between Now and Before

Don’t ask me where I’ve been… Some nights I still forget she’s gone… Don’t ask me where I drove tonight, I missed three exits, passed the lights, Somewhere between the dark and dawn, I kept pretending she was home. Now every street feels unfamiliar, Even mirrors don’t feel clearer, I hear my voice and wonder when It stopped sounding like myself again. Was it fate… Or just a moment we couldn’t save? I don’t know where I am anymore, Standing somewhere between now and before, Every room bends back to her name, And nothing inside me feels the same. They say time’s supposed to heal, But time just makes the silence real, So if you ask me where I stand… I still don’t know who I am. She’s probably laughing somewhere new, While I still talk like she’ll walk through, Half my mind still leaves a space Every time somebody says her name. And all these people move so fast, Like letting go is built to last, But I still freeze in crowded rooms, Like part of me stopped moving too. Maybe some wounds don’t disappear… They just learn to live here. I don’t know where I am anymore, Caught between what is and what was before, Every dream circles back again, To the man I was with her. They say pain fades over time, But some nights still feel like mine, So if you ask me where I’ve been… I’m still lost somewhere within. I still turn to tell her things… Before remembering… And that’s the part nobody warns you about, The way the world keeps going After yours burns out. How do you heal When the damage becomes you? I don’t know where I am anymore, Lost in rooms I can’t outgrow, Every road leads back again To someone I can’t reach anymore. Maybe time will understand What I never could explain, So if you ask me where I’ve been… I’ve been trying to find Who survived the pain. Don’t ask me where I am tonight… I’m still learning how to live this life…