Esther Perel Explains Why Your Partner Criticizes You

Behind every criticism is a wish. If I say “I wish,” I have to put myself out there. It means I want something and I can be refused. I can be rejected. I can be not heard. And in a relationship that is not secure, I will defend against that. I don’t want to show you that side of me. So instead of saying what I want, I’ll say what you didn’t do. That’s the criticism. What you didn’t do and what’s wrong with you is safer, in some bizarre way, than to tell you what is special about me and what I would’ve wanted. ---- ABOUT ESTHER PEREL Between her best-selling books, her TED talks (which have been viewed nearly 30 million times,) and her award-winning podcasts, Esther’s simple, yet insightful advice is positively impacting millions of people all over the globe from the bedroom to the boardroom. (Her new podcast series How’s Work? shifts her expertise from couples, to the stressors, conflicts and ever-changing dynamics of the workplace.) ---- ABOUT THE KNOWLEDGE PROJECT Like the mentor you’ve always dreamed of having, The Knowledge Project shares timely yet timeless lessons for work and life. Past guests include Naval Ravikant, Daniel Kahneman, Jim Collins, Angela Duckworth, Seth Godin, Melanie Mitchell, & Esther Perel. SUBSCRIBE for full episodes and clips highlighting actionable lessons and profound wisdom from guests ranging from Nobel Prize winners to CEOs of the largest companies in the world and everything in between. Get early access and episode transcripts: https://fs.blog/membership/ Subscribe to the podcast: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3fz6u4X​ | Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2SSgCvT​ | Google Podcasts: https://bit.ly/2Wjw7iy ---- FOLLOW Instagram:   / ​   Twitter:   / farnamstreet​   Shane Parrish:   / shaneaparrish   Newsletter: https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Facebook:   / farnamstreet