Gay Advice: Colorism, Attraction to Gay White Men, & Loving Your Own Skin | Just Ask Jay

Welcome to the very first episode of Just Ask Jay! A new virtual advice column where I answer your real questions about life, love, identity, and the LGBTQ+ experience. Today’s question comes from a 19-year-old Black gay man who struggles with colorist thoughts in dating and often finds himself only attracted to white men and lighter-skinned Black men. He wonders if this stems from growing up in a predominantly white town and asks: “What can I do to stop these thoughts and learn to love my own skin?” In this episode, I unpack: How colorism shows up in the gay community Why attraction can be shaped by environment and culture Practical steps to heal self-image and build self-love How to unlearn harmful beauty standards and expand attraction This series is about honesty, healing, and community. If you’d like your question answered in a future video, email me at [email protected]. 💬 Drop your thoughts in the comments — let’s have a real conversation. 📌 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe so you don’t miss the next Just Ask Jay!