Escolha Bem a Sua Universidade - Resumo das Universidades

Want to go to university in Angola but don't know what you're getting into? Here we don't give you the official guide, we give you the REALITY that nobody tells you. From those that take 10 years to graduate (hello, UAN!) to those where your salary magically disappears (greetings, UPRA!), here the guide is sincere, unfiltered and full of surprises. If you want to know which college looks like a cafeteria or where you'll age prematurely, sign up now! Heading to Universities: Choose your "poison" wisely. Thinking about studying at ISPTEC to avoid sleeping? Or do you want to go to Metropolitana just for Room 1? Before enrolling, check this out. We've listed the best (and most caricatured) of each institution so you can't say you weren't warned. Tell us in the comments: Which of these universities did you end up in (or plan to end up in)? 🔔 Subscribe for more tips, information and that dose of Angolan reality. HEADING TOWARDS Universities 👇 1. If you intend to spend 10 years at university, I advise you to go to #UAN (Agostinho Neto University). 2. If you intend to find a relative who disappeared during the Kitota era, I advise you to go to #ISIA. 3. If you intend to spend all your salary money on a university, I advise you to go to #UPRA. 4. If you intend to be a classmate of Lussaty and Manuel Vicente's children, I advise you to go to #Lusíadas. 5. If you intend to pass easily, I advise you to go to 👉 #GREGÓRIO_SEMEDO_UNIVERSITY 6. If you intend to go to a university that is for sale with its students in Kikolo Square, I advise you to go to #Independent_University. 7. If you want to get a 20 in math 👉 I advise you to go to #Insutec. 8. If you intend to give up on your dream of entering a university 👉 I advise you to try your luck at #UCAN (Catholic University of Angola). 9. If you intend to pay tuition equivalent to an offering from the Church 👉 I advise you to go to #Atlântida. 10. If you intend to do your higher education in the cafeteria 👉 I advise you to study at #Unibellas. 11. If you intend to see beautiful buildings and roads without potholes 👉 I advise you to go to #UMA (Methodist University of Angola). 12. If you intend to study without rest 👉 I advise you to go to #Isptec. 13. If you intend to sleep at midnight and wake up at 3:30 am every day 👉 I advise you to go to #ISTM (Higher Institute of Military Technology). 14. If you intend to see with your own eyes the kids who play with their parents' money 👉 I advise you to go to #Oscar_Ribas_University 🙊 15. If you intend to support a pastor who is spoken ill of by believers 👉 I advise you to go to #Tocoist_University. 16. If you intend to go to a university that is farther away than the moon 👉 I advise you to go to #Jean_Piaget_University. 17. If you intend to go to a university where room 1 is more crowded than all the other rooms, 👉 I advise you to go to #Metropolitana University 🙉 18. If you intend to go to a university where they don't give student ID cards until you finish your Bachelor's degree, 👉 I advise you to go to #Kalandula (Ispeka) 19. If you intend to study only to get a certificate, 👉 I advise you to go to #Universidade_UTANGA. 20. If you intend to study Engineering and then not have a job, 👉 I advise you to go to #Instituto_Superior_Katangoji. 21. If you want to see the students who dropped out of UPRA, 👉 I advise you to go to #Ispaj. 22. If you intend to grow old before your time, I advise you to go to #ISCED or #Deolinda_Rodrigues (IDERO). #Arturenfermeiroinfluente #CarlosQuintônio