A Taco that Craps Ice Cream - SOUTH PARK

The head alien (in the form of a taco, that craps ice cream) explains to the boys that Earth is really a reality television show. "Cancelled" S07 Subscribe to South Park:    / @southpark   Watch more South Park:    / southpark   Watch full episodes of South Park: https://cart.mn/episodes Shop official South Park merch: https://cart.mn/shop Follow South Park: Instagram:   / southpark   Twitter:   / southpark   Facebook:   / southpark   #SouthPark #SouthParkS07 INT. SPACE TRACKING CENTER - DUSK Chef walks in the door of the damaged center with a flashlight. The lights are low and glass and debris is everywhere as if the aliens ransacked the place. CHEF JEFF! The aliens took the children up on their ship! SCIENTIST Oh no! CHEF Did you find out what the aliens are up to?! The scientist sits down at his terminal. SCIENTIST When I reversed the polarities I found this- He hits a button and a long series of boxes and slashes fills the screen along with a modem sound. SCIENTIST (CONT'D) It's a message that the aliens are broadcasting throughout the entire universe. But I have no idea what it says. CHEF They took the children, Jeff. I HAVE to know what those aliens are up to! SCIENTIST Wait a minute - butt sex. CHEF Butt sex? SCIENTIST Butt sex requires a lot of lubrication, right? - lubrication - lubra... Chupa - chupacobres - the goat killer of Mexican folklore - folklore is stories form the past that are often fictionalized -fictionalized to heighten drama - drama STUDENT! Students at colleges usually have bicycles - BI _ BINARY!!!! IT'S BINARY CODE!!! The scientist spins around in his seat and starts typing. CHEF Who's having butt sex? INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - NIGHT The alien is now looking like Saddam Hussein, doing a little song and dance. SADDAM HUSSEIN Hello my honey! Hello my baby! Hello my rag time gal! The boys are still where they were, but now sitting down. Cartman is actually laying on his belly with his head in his hand. BOYS NO. The alien changes to Missy Elliot. MISSY Let me search it gonna work it- BOYS No. Missy changes to Frank Sinatra. FRANK Don't piss on the moon, babe BOYS NO. FRANK Alright, Earthlings, what form do you WANT me to take?! The boys look at each other. CARTMAN How about a taco -- that craps ice cream? Frank turns into a big taco, with eyes and a mouth and feet and hands (like a taco you might see on a kid's menu) As it stands there, it craps out some ice cream. CARTMAN (CONT'D) Guys? STAN I like it. KENNY Me too. The boys all give a golf clap. TACO Alright, then we can get back to business! Follow me this way, Earthlings! The taco starts to leave, crapping ice cream as it does, and the boys follow. INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - HALLWAY - NIGHT A sliding door open and the Taco walks through the same hallway that Cartman was drug down earlier, with the boys following. ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO I want to apologize to you boys for all the spooky, scary stuff. We just needed to get to the malfunctioning uplink relay. STAN You mean the thing in Cartman's ass? ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO That's right. See, there are dishes in over 50,000 Earthling's rectums, they are only supposed to come out while in heavy sleep - but your friend's has been malfunctioning. KYLE Why do you put them into people's asses? Are you planning some kind of alien take over? ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO Oh heaven's no! We're a production company. We make intergalactic television programs that the whole universe watches. STAN Television? The taco makes it to the other side and walks through another sliding door. INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - PRODUCTION CONTROL ROOM Several visitor aliens are working hard at what appears to be a nice, huge television control room. The space is very active, With visitors in headsets sitting at monitors and other visitors running around with video tapes and coffee and food. ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO We at Nerzod Productions started twenty billion years ago with one philosophy: the best universal television isn't scripted! It's REAL! The taco walks up to some large, very nicely presented framed posters of their shows, with elegant lights illuminating them. ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO We started with great shows like "Who Wants to Marry A Gelgamek?" And 'Antares 6 Millionaire'. (Moving down) ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO And then we had a big hit with "Get me Outta Here, I'm a Klignanian" The Ice cream walks towards the huge ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO But then, of course, there's our signature show. The greatest universal reality show of all time. The Ice cream shitting taco walks to the window where Earth is approaching slowly - MUSIC SWELLS. KYLE Earth? ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO A few billion years ago we realized - What if we took species from all different planets in the Universe and put them together on the SAME planet? Great TV, right?!