Valorize as atitudes… Não se apegue a promessas vazias!

ADHD alone doesn't cause a person to suffer because someone didn't keep a promise. What can happen is that some characteristics of ADHD make this type of situation more intense. I think about a few points: My brain likes predictability. When someone agrees to something, I create a concrete expectation. If that changes without explanation, my brain needs to suddenly reorganize the plan. This change can be more exhausting than for other people. Inconsistency weighs more than mistakes. From what I know of myself, it's not the delay or the unforeseen event that hurts the most. It's when the person promises, doesn't deliver, and acts as if nothing happened. I always say, "If you're not going to be able to, tell me." The problem, for me, is that it seems like a breach of trust, not a change of plan. I value my word a lot. I observe this a lot. I usually keep my promises, and when I can't, I feel the need to explain. So, when I find someone who works differently, the impact is greater because it touches on one of my values. I also want to bring up a point. Today, all of this is intertwined with the breakup. So it's easy for the brain to connect the two things and think: "It must be ADHD." But I remember today's internal dialogue… I don't get hurt just because a promise wasn't kept. I see a pattern: promises that weren't fulfilled; I felt the need to demand answers; I felt that when I brought up the subject, he interpreted it as an attack; difficulty talking about it. It's different from an isolated incident. And there's something that caught my attention a long time ago. I never said: "I want you to do exactly what I ask." I used to say: "If you can't, talk to me." Do you see the difference? This makes me think that what gives me security isn't control. It's the predictability built on honesty. Now, there is an aspect of ADHD that can intensify this: many people with ADHD have spent their lives dealing with forgetfulness, broken promises by others or even by themselves, and end up highly valuing clarity and consistency in relationships. But that doesn't mean that all the pain I feel comes from ADHD. If I had to summarize what I observe in myself, I would say: It's not the broken promise that hurts me the most. It's the feeling that what was agreed upon has ceased to matter to the other person. And that's not a "wrong" reaction. It's a value of mine. The only thing I did was continue to observe, over time, whether this value appears in different areas of my life—friendships, work, family. Maybe it's part of how I build trust, more than a characteristic of ADHD. And a curiosity: I remember that, the other day, I said a phrase that stuck with me… "I don't seek perfection. I seek consistency." After that conversation, I think she explained it better than any clinical description. Because, for me, consistency is a form of respect. And when it's repeatedly lacking, I feel the bond begins to lose its strength. This seems to be much more connected to my values ​​than to a diagnosis. This video was born from a very personal reflection. For a long time, I thought what hurt the most was when someone didn't keep their word. But I understood that it's not just that. What hurts is when a word loses its value. When a person promises, they don't keep their promise and act as if it doesn't matter. Everyone gives things a different weight. There's a subjective weight: what may seem small to you may represent respect, security, and trust to another person. Not every difficult conversation is an attack. Sometimes it's just an attempt to show the effect a behavior had on the person on the other side. This video wasn't recorded to point fingers. This was recorded because I believe that healthy relationships require dialogue, consistency, and responsibility for one's own actions. It's just an open-hearted conversation. If this video resonated with you, share it with someone who also believes that respect begins when words and actions go hand in hand. #love #reflection #psychology #selfknowledge #selflove Believe only in what the person does, not in promises never kept!