Sitting in the Muck: What Grief Actually Looks Like Three Years In

What happens after the fight is over and the quiet sets in? In this bonus conversation, Brooke and Mandy Hamlin stay on after the main episode to talk honestly about the part of grief nobody prepares you for: the anniversaries that sneak up on you, the nervous system that gets hijacked ten years in, and why year three can hit harder than year one. This is two grieving mothers talking to each other, not a host and a guest, and it's exactly as raw and real as it sounds. Content Notes This episode discusses child loss, grief anniversaries, anxiety, nervous system dysregulation, EMDR therapy, ketamine therapy, and the long-term emotional experience of parental grief. Listener discretion is advised. 00:00 The buildup is always worse than the day itself 00:00:46 Every year looks different and that's okay 00:01:41 When your nervous system gets hijacked ten years later 00:03:09 The flu analogy: giving yourself permission to feel it 00:04:02 Sitting in the muck vs. stuffing it down 00:04:54 The 2,000 piece puzzle and what it unlocked 00:07:44 Why quiet is comforting and what that means in grief 00:09:49 Honoring Cooper by letting yourself have the moment 00:10:41 The timeline myth: why year three hit harder than year one 00:11:55 Letting the path unfold and being guided through it 00:12:45 Cooper's whispers and watching for signs 00:15:14 What society gets wrong about grief after the first year Connect with Trauma Uncensored Website: traumauncensored.com Instagram: @traumauncensored TikTok: @traumauncensored Email the team: [email protected] Email Brooke: [email protected] About the Guest Mandy Hamlin is a mother and advocate. In 2023, she lost her youngest son Cooper to fentanyl poisoning while he was a patient at a licensed residential rehab facility in California. Rather than accepting a $2,500 fine as the system's final answer, Mandy launched a relentless pursuit of accountability, working with federal investigators, the DEA, and state agencies to see the drug dealer responsible sentenced to 25 years in federal prison. She now advocates for federally mandated transparency standards for rehab facilities so no family has to vet a program blindly again. Cooper was 20 years old. About the Host Brooke Scherer is the creator and host of the Trauma Uncensored Podcast, where she leads honest, unfiltered conversations about trauma, grief, mental health, and healing. She is also a mother to Logan, Mallory, and Mila. In 2016, Brooke’s world was shattered when her son Logan was killed by a distracted driver. In the silence that followed, she found a culture unequipped to talk about child loss, grief, and trauma in any honest way. That silence became her mission. Brooke built Trauma Uncensored to offer what she once needed most: a space to speak openly, without judgment, timelines, or expectation. Through her own story and conversations with survivors, mental health professionals, and others whose lives have been permanently altered, she reminds listeners they are not alone. She believes trauma permanently changes us, but it does not have to define the limits of our lives. If this episode hit home: Subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who has ever felt failed by a system that was supposed to help. It helps more people find these conversations. Want to share your story? Reach out at [email protected] or email Brooke directly at [email protected]. If you’re struggling with thoughts of suicide or know someone who is, please call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential support, 24/7.