A Song For The New Parliament | Sammy J (S5 Ep24)

As our leaders gather in Canberra, we send them some advice on how to succeed. #SammyJ Subscribe now: http://ab.co/subscribe ___________________________________________ Biting, bite-sized comedy as Sammy J and his team of troublemakers tackle the news of the week. Stream now on ABC iview: http://ab.co/SammyJ​​​ Follow ABC TV:   / abctv   Like ABC TV:   / abctv​​​​​   Follow ABC TV:   / abctv​​​​​   Follow ABC iview:   / abciview   ___________________________________________ (PIANO MUSIC) I declare open the 47th Parliament of the Commonwealth. (PIANO MUSIC) SONG LYRICS It's a brand new Australia, it's a bright sunny day. All across the country, you can hear people say, "There are new politicians in Canberra town. They're gonna build people up, not tear people down 'cause the bickering and squabbling, that's in the past. The 47th Parliament, it's going to last. No more insults or scandals. They're bringin' back class 'cause they promised us they're gonna be decent. And that sounds fine to me. (PLAYS PIANO) Decent, adequate, good enough, suitable – this could be a thing. If no one's wanking on a desk, we'll take that as a win. Average, alright, not bad, basic minimum will do. Just try not to be terrible, that's all you have to do. So to every new member and all of your peers, I know you've got big plans and shiny ideas. You wanna set up an ICAC or push for a voice or tackle the climate. And sure, that's your choice. But if you really want to win our hearts and minds, it's really not that difficult I think you'll find. Just be decent, adequate, good enough, 'cause the bar's been set so low. If you're not screwing half your staff, then we'll be happy so. Decorous, demure, unassuming and respectable – mind your Ps and Qs. Like the farmers said to Babe, "That'll do, pig. That'll do." 'Cause decency's a mindset. It's an old fashioned idea that you're there to serve the people and not further your career. And I know there's lots of issues that you're trying to address. But just don't act like total shitheads, and we'll all be impressed. If you're decent, competent, suitable, acceptable, broadly up to scratch, not knocking over children at a public soccer match. Sports grants, trust funds, French subs, calling women lying cows. Or smile and nod, and just do your job, and look, we're happy now. 'Cause we're happy little Vegemites as bright as bright can be. We all enjoy our politics rape allegation free. Normal, standard, largely forgettable, utterly nonplussed. If the best you do is decent, then that's OK with us.