"Pizza Party" by L'Homme Run

Before he was in Vampire Weekend, Ezra Koenig formed part of a serious rap group, L'Homme Run, with Andrew Kalaidjian. Lyrics: P-I-Z-Z-A-P-AR-T-Y If you got a blunt then we can get high If you wanna come then pick up the phone Don't get caught with a wack calzone P-I-Z-Z-A-P-AR-T-Y Hey yo, Tony, where'd you get that fresh pepperoni Your toppings are ill but your cheese is hole-y Only order one slice when you're feeling lonely Cos the sausage tastes like stale bologna Still better than nothin', you're feelin' alright You know my girl eats her pizza with a diet sprite Order garlic knots, and she'll stay the night Getting crazy with the spinach when my pie is white In France they eat pizza like "oh mon Dieu C'est la plus belle pizza que j'ai jamais vu Le fromage est frais, c'est vraiment mieux Que le dernier film de Gérard Depardieu" Yo fuck that I don't eat my pizza with brie Or escargot Or duck confit A hot slice in my hands, no cutlery At the P-I-Z-Z-A party P-I-Z-Z-A-P-AR-T-Y If you got a blunt then we can get high If you wanna come then pick up the phone Don't get caught with a wack calzone Man if you don't know by now, don't bother to question Cos I'm too damn stoned and I lost my direction Wait a minute (what up) I got a make a correction I'm at the pizza party, and I'm eatin' hearty It could be mighty meaty or with havarti Man I don't want no ziti or chicken parm Imma heat up this slice like Don Giovanni Cold pizza in the morning never did no harm For that hangover son, it works like a charm So if it ain't in a box, it ain't on my table I can say it in German as best as I'm able "Lass uns gemütlich zusammen sitzen" Let's get together for some good pizza eatin' And you can leave your wallet cos I am treatin' But B-Y-O-B, cos man, I ain't treatin' At the P-I-Z-Z-A-P-AR-T-Y If you got a blunt then we can get high If you wanna come then pick up the phone Don't get caught with a wack calzone Now here is a story that must be told About two hot pizzas that got mad cold Cos I don't eat Foges, I won't touch Elio's Wacker than a girl who says "what the dealio" It's not delivery, it's L'Homme Run So don't touch my plate 'til I'm done I move oregano by the ton Cos you know the factory is number one Now the year's '94 and my trunk is closed In my rearview mirror, motherfucking Domino's I'm just drivin', within the legal limit Pizza boy gotta move two pies in twenty minutes I try to pull over, but not in time I get hit from the back, but I'm still fine Pizza boy was bleedin' — shard of glass in his head I straight jacked his pizzas and left him for dead [Clatter, voices] (What, what) How'm I supposed to cut with this plastic cutlery Pizza supreme and you know I got the dream Like the breadsticks and the way you lick your lips When I say consumption now I don't want to eat later When I say destruction now I don't want no peace, hater Madame? I want to wrap you up in, carnal embrace Let's face the fact, it's true, I've got no romantic garden Call me rather render cinderblock shit how hard And then compassion how I work for passion now Today you know my face but tomorrow I'll displace Into a more socially accepted workplace Color sublimation, let Freud take vacation And then bring him back, smokin' fat Haitians Sit him on my couch, prop him so he don't slouch Alienated man, stand don't crouch And then ask, "Bitch, why the fuck Are you such a pessimist?" That's the real opiate [Rewind] P-I-Z-Z-A-P-AR-T-Y If you got a blunt then we can get high If you wanna come then pick up the phone Don't get caught with a wack calzone