Why Finding Love Feels Harder Than Ever (And How to Change That) | Bela Gandhi

Modern dating is exhausting. So how do you actually find love after 50? Relationship expert and Smart Dating Academy founder Bela Gandhi joins Jamie Stein and Pascal for an honest conversation about what really works in today’s dating world—and why finding lasting love may be more possible than you think. In this episode, we discuss: • Why modern dating feels harder than ever • The biggest mistakes people over 50 make when dating • Dating apps vs. meeting people in real life • Green flags, red flags, and deal breakers • Dating after divorce • Bela’s reaction to Pascal’s dating truths—and where she agrees (and doesn’t!) Whether you’re divorced, widowed, newly single, or simply wondering if love is still in the cards, this conversation is filled with practical advice, surprising insights, and plenty of laughs. About In My Hometown In My Hometown is a YouTube show + podcast hosted by Jamie Stein and Pascal, featuring real conversations about life, love, and everything we’re talking about after 50. Each week, they sit down with relationship experts, bestselling authors, reality TV personalities, and fascinating guests for thoughtful, entertaining conversations that help make sense of this stage of life. 👍 Subscribe for new episodes every week. 00:00 Introduction: Is modern dating broken? 00:45 Understanding modern dating terms (Ghosting, Love bombing, Orbiting) 02:08 The post-COVID "Dating App Disillusionment" 04:09 Three pipelines to meeting people 05:52 How to curate events to meet like-minded people 07:03 The epidemic of disconnection vs. digital connection 08:36 Does your social media following matter in dating? 09:50 Success Story: A connection from Portland to Sydney 11:12 The importance of physical chemistry vs. video dates 12:38 Why Instagram can be a better dating tool than apps 14:12 Dating after divorce: Advice for the over-40 crowd 15:52 Identifying your dating patterns and taking responsibility 17:20 Using apps to "do the reps" and build confidence 18:35 Do men or women have it harder on dating apps? 21:12 The struggle for affluent and high-achieving singles 22:40 The "Red Notebook" analogy: Overcoming ego bias 24:10 Psychotic Optimism: The mindset you need to find love 26:22 How to become magnetic by filling your own cup 27:50 Pascal’s "Art of Dating" rules 30:52 Why men often struggle more with social isolation after divorce 32:32 Common dating mistakes: The "Date vs. Therapy Session" 34:36 Why beautiful women don't always get approached 37:43 Rule 1: Should the man always make the first move? 38:15 Rule 2: Who should pay and the "Classy Split" 40:40 Rule 3: Can chemistry develop later for women? 43:04 Rule 4: Handling cancellations and the "Voice Note" trick #DatingAfter50 #ModernDating #BelaGandhi #DatingAdvice #LoveAfter50 #Relationships #SmartDatingAcademy #InMyHometownpodcast ‪@inmyhometown‬