He wouldn’t look at me

I was 25 when my husband divorced me. I was so attached to him, yet so firm in my belief that it was also time to let him go. After he left our marital home, he asked me to quickly proceed with the get. A get is a religious divorce; a ceremony with many rituals. After I got home from the Get, I was very heartbroken. I sat down and wrote about my experience, talking to my husband directly, who had not spoken really to me during the entire ceremony. I needed to speak, to be heard, to have a perspective, to feel human. I was a single mother, young and alone, quite voiceless. I just sat at the computer and sobbed and wrote, and sobbed and wrote. I felt better afterward. I never for a moment regretted the divorce or reconsidered my leaving the Hasidic community. I think it was the path that was right for me. But I also don’t think my journey is over. I don’t know where this winding road will lead yet. I’ve raised my son on my own since the Get; happily, and with immense financial struggles. I moved on from the marriage, from the Get, from the intense youthful love. I healed, loved fiercely again, let go again, lived, and most of all, tried to stay true to myself while prioritizing my role as a mother. Now I’m ready for a new page. I look back at the long arc of life, and I’m grateful for the times I allowed myself to live with the hurt in order to live with what it's been my truth. Thanks for listening to my reading of ‘The Get.’