The Kenlo Show Ep. 15 | AJ Hikes: Designing History, The Realities of Allyship, & "Doing It Scared"

From being born on a military base in Okinawa, Japan, to shifting global queer culture from North Philadelphia, AJ Hikes joins The Kenlo Show for a raw conversation on legacy, visibility, and self-preservation. In this episode, we look at AJ’s historic creation of the Philadelphia Pride Flag with black and brown stripes, navigating global backlash, and surviving death threats while holding down a solo office at City Hall. AJ details growing up under an inspirational Spelman VP mother, becoming the youngest Upward Bound director in Ivy League history at 25, breaking systemic foster care cycles, and knowing when to step away from 100-hour political workweeks to choose healing over burnout. Episode Chapters & Highlights 01:00:06 — Introducing AJ Hikes of Suede Philly. 01:00:44 — The Military Nomad: Born in Okinawa and finding your people. 01:02:00 — Reclaiming Philadelphia: Choosing a city as an adult. 01:03:10 — Surviving the Tumult: Childhood domestic violence and the healing power of divorce. 01:04:15 — Black Mamas as Anchors: Her mother’s history as an academic powerhouse and VP at Spelman and Virginia Tech. 01:08:17 — Processing Mass Trauma: Notes from Student Affairs during the Virginia Tech massacre. 01:10:11 — The Sydney 2000 Olympics: Marching down under in an international high school band. 01:14:08 — The Super Bowl Coming Out: Being pulled out of the closet by her mother on game day. 01:16:56 — The Halle Berry vs. Denzel Test: Deconstructing a Black mother’s initial bisexual logic. 01:20:07 — Scaling the Ivory Tower: Entering UPenn graduate pipelines and securing an Associate Director position at age 23. 01:24:22 — Inside Upward Bound: Managing 17-year-olds when barely older than them, and being spotted by students at a queer nightlife event. 01:26:50 — Re-Engineering Systems: Blending psychology, social work, and English into grassroots activism and redirecting resources to West Philadelphia. 01:30:17 — The TED Stage: Interrogating implicit bias and structural white racism prior to 2020. 01:33:32 — Adult Care Crisis: Auditing catastrophic homelessness rates among LGBTQ foster youth. 01:35:23 — Heart vs. Brain: Defining sexual orientation vs. gender identity, reclaiming the name AJ, and the exhausting weight of daily pronoun defense. 01:41:16 — The 6'3" Air Force Veteran: How her traditional father transformed from homophobic to an ally—and marching at Philly Pride before officially coming out to him. 01:47:34 — The Philadelphia Pride Flag: The secret history of the historic black and brown stripes, and how it became the global "Progress Pride" standard. 01:50:00 — Dismantling the Neighborhood: Boycotting institutional racism and racist club dress codes. 01:52:41 — Death Threats: Surviving viral hate from Alabama to City Hall while working solo. 01:56:04 — 80-Hour Burnout: Admitting when political combat destroys physical health, and using intense therapy to unpack deep episodic grief. 02:05:38 — The Genesis of Suede: Growing a community space from 40 to 600 patrons, and why Suede strictly champions Black women and non-binary DJs. 02:22:33 — The Final Manifesto: The wisdom of Benjamin Mays and a masterclass call to action. Follow the Kenlo Show   / thekenloshow   Follow AJ Hikes here https://www.instagram.com/aj__hikes/?... Follow Ya girl Kenlo here :   / yogirlkenlo_