Your Values vs. Your Nervous System | The Holiday Dilemma

What do you do when your values and your neurodivergent needs collide — especially during the holidays? In today’s conversation, Dr. Megan Anna Neff (she/they), an autistic ADHDer and clinical psychologist, explores why holiday gatherings often create a painful disconnect for autistic and ADHD adults, even when we deeply value family, connection, and tradition. We talk about: Sensory overwhelm during holiday events The pressure to “enjoy” family gatherings Why connection can feel out of reach in overstimulating environments How autistic shutdowns and sensory barriers block access to our values How to identify your core values (autonomy, stability, meaningful work, etc.) How to realign holiday expectations with your neurodivergent needs The difference between cultural expectations vs. authentic connection What “values-based decision making” looks like for autistic/ADHD adults How to create holidays that actually support your nervous system This episode expands on Dr. Neff’s original essay about experiencing their first Thanksgiving after their autism diagnosis, and the surprising insight that helped her understand why holidays had always felt so hard, which you can read here: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/na... 🧰 Resources Mentioned Free Values Sort Tool: https://www.think2perform.com/values/ Use the same tool we referenced in this conversation to explore your own core values. ***Sign up for the Neurodivergent Insights Newsletter here: https://newsletter.neurodivergentinsi... Self-Care for Autistic People: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1507221932?... The Autistic Burnout Workbook: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/au... 👍 If this conversation supported you… Please like, comment, and subscribe. It genuinely helps this channel reach more neurodivergent adults who need affirming, research-grounded resources. 🧡 About Neurodivergent Insights Dr. Megan Anna Neff (she/they) is an Autistic-ADHD clinical psychologist who blends research, clinical insight, and lived experience to make sense of adult neurodivergence. She creates clear, compassionate, neurodivergent-affirming education for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults, and for the clinicians who support them. Dr. Neff is also the author of Self Care for Autistic People and The Autistic Burnout Workbook. They are also the creator of NeurodivergentInsights.com Each video offers practical tools, grounded explanations, and honest conversations about sensory health, burnout, masking, identity, and everyday neurodivergent life, living with ADHD and Autism.