Larry, The Downing Street Cat - Manchester

A couple of things caught my attention this week, which is fortunate because otherwise I'd have had to spend the entire despatch discussing pigeons, and while I could happily do that, apparently some of you enjoy "variety." First, on Monday, I received a visitor of some distinction. NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte, one of those splendidly over-engineered job titles that sounds as though it ought to come with a ceremonial helmet and a trumpet fanfare, called in to meet me. Officially, of course, he was here to see my outgoing servant one last time, but let's be realistic. Government ministers come and go with the dependable regularity of autumn leaves. I, meanwhile, remain exactly where I've always been, usually on whichever chair someone important was hoping to use. Mr Rutte was charming enough. There were the usual pleasantries, some tea, and, I understand, a respectable quantity of Hobnobs. One must maintain standards. I shall, naturally, keep in touch with Mark from time to time. It's only polite to let him know how the new chap is settling in. Which brings us neatly to my incoming manservant, Mr Andy "Bambi" Burnham. Now, it seems Bambi has decided that running the country from one city alone is rather old-fashioned. He has announced plans to expand the Prime Minister's Office into Manchester with something called "No. 10 North," part of what is being described as a "rewired Britain." Politicians do have a weakness for phrases that sound as though they were generated by enthusiastic management consultants. Apparently, he intends to spend part of his working week in Manchester. Nobody seems entirely certain how much of the week, which days, or indeed whether anyone has remembered to check whether there's a decent chair waiting for him. If he really does divide his time, he'll become the first Prime Minister since Harold Wilson not to make Downing Street his principal home. Wilson, for those of you who enjoy a spot of historical trivia between naps, lived in Number 10 during his first spell in office from 1964 to 1970, but later preferred Lord North Street, just around the corner from Parliament. And if you really want to impress people on the bus, the last Prime Minister not to live in Downing Street at all was Lord Salisbury. It certainly gives "working from home on Fridays" a rather different flavour. Now, many of you have written asking the obvious question: "Larry, how does this affect you?" An excellent question. Firstly, I've been informed that Bambi owns a dog called Axel. The encouraging news is that Axel is unlikely to accompany him to Downing Street very often, if at all. I have nothing personal against dogs, provided they remain somewhere comfortably distant and preferably behind a sturdy gate. Secondly, if my new servant spends part of the week in Manchester, that leaves me with unrestricted access to his office chair. I can sleep on important documents, redistribute paperwork according to my own highly sophisticated filing system, and occasionally stare out of the window, looking as though I'm contemplating matters of national importance. Which, in fairness, I often am. As preparation for this possible northern adventure, I've been reading up on Manchester. Or "Madchester," if you're of a certain vintage and remember when everyone appeared to own a bucket hat. Naturally, everyone knows about its two globally famous football clubs, but football itself owes rather a lot to Manchester. The Football League was founded there in 1888, while Manchester United began life ten years earlier as Newton Heath LYR Football Club, a team formed by railway workers who probably spent rather less time falling over theatrically than modern professionals. Manchester also gave us Britain's vegetarian movement. In 1815, the Reverend William Cowherd of Salford began preaching that perhaps eating fewer animals might be a decent idea. I remain gloriously neutral on the subject. Fish are another matter entirely. Then there was cotton. During the Industrial Revolution, Manchester became "Cottonopolis," supplying textiles to much of the world and helping shape modern industry. It's extraordinary to think that an entire global economy once revolved around thread. Cats, of course, have always understood the importance of string. The city also witnessed the birth of Rolls-Royce. Then, in 1917, Ernest Rutherford split the atom at the University of Manchester. So yes, Manchester has contributed an astonishing amount to the world. Even so, and I hope my northern readers will forgive me, London remains the centre of the universe. I admit I may not be entirely impartial. My bed is here. Still, it'll be fascinating to see how this grand experiment unfolds over the coming weeks. Until then, I'll continue carrying out my constitutional duties with quiet dignity, impeccable professionalism, and the occasional nap on classified papers. #pets #cat