You're Being Used for Your Genes — and You're Enjoying It | Day 8 of 100

Let's talk about the uncomfortable truth about colorism & dating in the Philippines. Some women here aren't looking at what you can do for them. They're looking at what you can do for their children — and I don't mean money. I mean something you were born with and never earned. This one is uncomfortable. It's about race, and about the thing we do to each other in this country that nobody says out loud. I'm going to say it. Then I'm going to turn it around on you — so don't get too comfortable. Look at who wins here. The billboards, the pageants, the endorsements. Over and over, the same faces. Every mother in this country can do that math in her sleep. And a girl who's been called itim her whole life, told she was ugly since she was seven by the very people who loved her, looks at a half-white kid's plain mother and something clicks: I don't have to be beautiful. I just have to make someone who is. That's not vanity. That's a woman trying to end something. It's survival again — just on a twenty-year clock. But before anyone gets self-righteous: you're being used for the same reason you came. You're worth more here than you are back home. Your money goes further, your age matters less, doors open that were shut on you your whole life — and you did nothing to earn any of it. She wants what your genes buy. You want what your passport buys. Same table. Same arithmetic. And to my fellow Filipinas — I'm not going to be gentle. Every time we pray for a fair baby, pinch a child's nose, say "ang itim" like a diagnosis — we teach our daughters they were never enough. It was done to us for 330 years. But they left, and we kept it going ourselves. That part is on us. Day 8 of the 100-day morning walk. In this walk: The math every mother in this country can do in her sleep Why this isn't vanity or greed — it's survival on a longer clock The mirror: you're being used for your genes, and you like it What we're teaching our daughters, and why that part is on us The one honest conversation that spares both of you years of quiet disappointment The problem was never the wanting. Families do climb out through these marriages, and that's real, and it can be beautiful. The problem is only ever the hiding. Don't run it in the dark. One practical note for the men: if you truly don't want children, say so at the very start — out loud, on the record. Honesty early lets both of you sort yourselves out before there's a child in the room who has to carry all of it. 👇 Honest questions in the pinned comment. Nobody's listening but you. Tomorrow, something lighter, I promise: what Filipinas actually bring to the table. It's not what you came here for. It's better — and most of you aren't ready for it. 🔔 New morning walks most days + full studio episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe so the next one finds you. 🚶 Morning Walk series playlist:    • Season 1: How Did We Get Here? | Western D...   ▶️ Start the story from the beginning (Season 1):    • Season 1: How Did We Get Here? | Western D...   Sources and terms are discussed in full in the video. Where figures conflict across datasets, I use the more conservative number. Personal observations are stated as mine, not as research. ⏱ CHAPTERS 0:00 What some women are really looking at 0:18 This one's uncomfortable — it's about race 0:42 Look at who wins here 1:21 Why the pure Filipina had to be exceptional 1:54 The part that breaks my heart 2:56 When the mother becomes a blueprint 3:31 It's not greed — it's survival on a longer clock 5:26 Now the mirror: you're used for your genes too 6:11 What we teach our daughters (this part is on us) 7:41 The other side: what the mixing actually made 8:40 The problem was never the wanting — it's the hiding 9:05 A practical one: say it early if you don't want kids 10:35 Where I land 11:19 Two honest questions