#54 | The Hidden Reason You Keep Self-Sabotaging, with Austra Putnina & Julia Furlipa

Best Life By You Podcast Why do we sabotage the very goals we say we want? In this episode of Best Life by You, Julia sits down with returning guest Austra Putnina for a deep conversation about self-sabotage, identity, self-respect, perfectionism, relationships, and the hidden beliefs that keep us stuck. Together they explore why people stay in unhealthy patterns, how high standards can become self-punishment, why your identity always lags behind your actions, and how small daily decisions shape the person you'll become months from now. Whether you're trying to lose weight, build confidence, improve your relationships, or pursue your biggest goals, this conversation will challenge the way you think about personal growth. In this episode: • What self-sabotage really is • Why your identity changes after your actions—not before • The difference between self-love and self-respect • Why perfectionism keeps people stuck • Escaping victim mentality • Building confidence through action • Relationships as mirrors for personal growth • How today's habits create tomorrow's identity Connect with Austra Putnina 🌐 Website: https://www.udemy.com/user/austra/? srsltid=AfmBOorpt03zFnfn9pi8Zbrp8NFpajMguLviAYHHcl3ICsG7DXO63r7N ▶ Youtube:    / @austraputnina   Youtube:   / @wisdominactionpod   📸 Instagram:   / austra.putnina   Follow Julia and Best Life by You for weekly conversations on mindset, nutrition, fitness, relationships, and becoming the best version of yourself. If this episode helped you, don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and Share it with someone who needs to hear it. CONNECT WITH JULIA: My Book “The 7+ Lifestyle: A Recipe Book for Life!”: https://amzn.to/4rM6HpY My Podcast “Best Life By You”:    / @bestlifebyyoupodcast   Instagram:   / julia_bestlifebyyou   My All-in-One Best Life By You App: https://bestlifebyyoutracker.replit.app/ Work with Julia: ⁠https://www.bestlifebyyou.com/⁠ TikTok:   / juliafurlipa   Chapters 00:00 What Self-Sabotage Really Is 01:59 Welcome Back Austra Putnina 03:15 High Standards vs Self-Sabotage 08:25 Seeking Validation Through Achievement 12:29 Rewriting Your Identity 14:42 Why People Stay Stuck 19:08 Victim Mentality vs Responsibility 20:58 Identity Comes After Action 22:32 Your Future Self Is Built Today 29:18 Self-Respect vs Self-Love 35:30 Dating, Standards & Personal Growth 45:06 Living Up to Your Own Standards 49:48 How Relationships Mirror You 54:03 Final Thoughts #SelfSabotage #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #SelfImprovement #Confidence #SelfRespect #MentalHealth #Success #Habits #Identity