Narcissistic Abuse

We need to stop throwing around words like 'Narcissistic Abuse' to describe every little slight against people - it's so much more serious than this and today I want to talk about Dr Ramani Durvasula's book Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist, my own experiences with my abusive ex-partner and the things that helped me heal. As I say in this video: please remember, not all narcissists are abusers and not all abusers are narcissists. But narcissistic abuse is a very real and very scary thing to experience and it’s the term most accurate to describe what I went through. Please note: if you’re here because you think this is a video about Gabbie, it’s not and you’re likely to be disappointed. This isn’t a drama video, this isn’t about her, this isn’t any judgement on her. She’s mentioned briefly because honestly, her recent behaviour really hurt me and set me back in my recovery a long way. The name calling (even where I tried to excuse it as possible projection) and listening to the way she spoke to Jessie gave me major flashbacks to how Jonnie spoke to me and that really messed me up. And most importantly, her throwing around the terms ‘narcissistic abuse’ etc were absolutely belittling the experiences of actual survivors like myself and others. She set me back a long way but also propelled me forward in wanting to speak out about my experience of a relationship with an actual abuser. So if you’re looking for a video on her, maybe look somewhere else, this is very a different kind of content. 0:00 Intro - Why I'm making this video 6:13 Gabbie Hanna, Stop Throwing Around The Term 'Narcissistic Abuse' For Attention 8:25 Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - The Book 11:08 What is NPD And Narcissistic Abuse? 16:27 Is Your Partner A Narcissist? The Narcissist's Checklist: 25:44 Lack of Empathy 27:53 Grandiosity and Entitlement 34:11 Manipulation 36:56 Anger & Rage 42:18 Paranoia & Jealousy 46:02 Hypersensitivity 47:28 Lack of Guilt 53:02 Needing Constant Admiration & Validation 54:08 Lying 57:06 Projection 59:18 Gaslighting 1:04:00 Vanity, Being Controlling, Being Unpredictable 1:06:06 Taking Advantage of Others, Not Wanting To Be Alone, Triangulation, Poor Boundaries 1:08:10 Infidelity 1:09:00 So Why Do We Fall For Narcissists? The Seductive Traits 1:14:24 Threats 1:19:10 Things That Have Helped My Recovery Book Recommendations (affiliate links) Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist UK: https://amzn.to/3jquo7e US: https://amzn.to/2T9P4pl The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook: Healing from Emotional Abuse UK: https://amzn.to/3dpzZH8 US: https://amzn.to/3y6luj6 ----------- Website: https://racheloates.uk/ Instagram:   / rachel0ates   TikTok:   / racheloates   Twitch:   / about   Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/racheloates Support my channel with a one-off donation: https://www.paypal.me/rachel0ates Patreon:   / racheloates   Amazon Wishlist to support my channel / content / life: https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/... Send Kyra a treat: https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/... Support my channel by buying on of these recommended products through these affiliate links: UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/rachelo... USA: https://www.amazon.com/shop/racheloates --------------------------- If you want to send me stuff, here's my PO Box: Rachel Oates Unit 16588 PO Box 6945 London W1A 6US -------------------------- Thank You To All My Patreon Supporters This Month! You guys are incredible!! ♥ Patreon:   / racheloates   Don't feel like you have to donate, but please know I'm super-grateful to anyone who does ♥