What is YOUR Enneagram Coping Style?

If you’re feeling stuck trying to figure out your Enneagram type, the Interpersonal Coping Styles might be the missing puzzle piece. These three stances — Assertive, Dutiful, and Withdrawn — reveal how you move through the world to get your needs met. And once you identify your dominant stance, you can eliminate six of the nine types and get much closer to your core number. In this video, I break down each coping style, how it functions under stress, and how it shows up in everyday life (including my favorite plant‑store analogy). You’ll learn why Types 3, 7, and 8 push against people, why Types 1, 2, and 6 move toward people, and why Types 4, 5, and 9 pull away. You’ll also learn how alignment vs. misalignment affects each stance. If you want to understand yourself better — or finally narrow down your type — this is one of the most helpful frameworks you can use. FIND YOUR ENNEAGRAM TYPE: My Enneagram Journal: https://amzn.to/4pPFAsh Free Enneagram Test: https://abbeyhowe.com/free-enneagram-... Free Typing Guide: https://abbeyhowe.com/freebie-or-enne... Another *Test I Like: http://truity.com/?a=2788847    • How To Find Your Enneagram Type and Wing   FURTHER RESOURCES: https://abbeyhowe.com/blogs/news/what... BOOKS I RECOMMEND: My Enneagram workbook* https://amzn.to/3UIGV7v The Road Back To You* https://amzn.to/3QpEW4D The 9 Types of Leadership* https://amzn.to/3aGvjxU The Enneagram at Work* https://amzn.to/3MKOMek Take Care of Your Type* https://amzn.to/3iuayVR TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 – Intro + why coping styles help you find your type 0:40 – What interpersonal coping styles are and why they matter 0:48 – How coping styles eliminate six types instantly 1:15 – Alignment vs. misalignment in each stance ⚡ ASSERTIVE STYLE (Types 3, 7, 8) 1:33 – Assertive stance explained: moving against people 1:48 – Boosting, reinforcing, or expanding the self under stress 1:53 – The plant‑store example: pushing back to get needs met 2:46 – How assertive types take up space in a room 🤝 DUTIFUL STYLE (Types 1, 2, 6) 2:58 – Dutiful stance explained: moving toward people 3:06 – “How can I meet expectations?” as the core question 3:11 – The plant‑store example: proving worth through loyalty 3:31 – Shutting down desires to earn love and acceptance 🌙 WITHDRAWN STYLE (Types 4, 5, 9) 3:45 – Withdrawn stance explained: moving away from people 3:50 – Turning inward for fulfillment and safety 3:58 – The plant‑store example: shutting down and retreating 4:27 – Feeling like an outsider and zoning out under stress 4:42 – How to identify your stance using a real‑life scenario 5:03 – How coping styles bring you closer to your core type 5:15 – Closing + invitation for questions in the comments ABOUT THIS CHANNEL:    / @abbeyhowe   Hi! I’m Abbey Howe, certified Enneagram Coach and author of “My Enneagram” an approachable, playful journal designed to help you embark on an empowering journey of self-discovery. On this channel, I playfully hold up a mirror to reveal your personality and help you feel less alone. A happy life relies on your ability to understand yourself and others better. Through typology and self-compassion, my goal is to help you discover YOU. #EnneagramWithAbbey #enneagram #copingmechanism Want to host a fun and insightful Enneagram workshop for your team? Let's chat! https://abbeyhowe.com/services SAY HELLO: Everything in one place: https://abbeyhowe.com/ The Monthly Enneagram Digest: https://abbeyhowe.com/freebie-or-the-... Substack: https://talkenneagram.substack.com/ LinkedIn:   / abbeyhowe   Instagram:   / enneagramwithabbey   Facebook:   / enneagramwithabbey   Threads: https://www.threads.com/@enneagramwit... TikTok:   / abbey_howe   Pinterest:   / enneagram_with_abbey   FTC DISCLAIMER: This video was not sponsored. *These links are affiliate links which means I receive a small percentage of the purchase. You will not pay more and you will help support this YouTube channel! ♥️