How To Stop Wasting Your Energy

What if you and your partner are both carrying the exact same mental load — at the exact same time — without even knowing it? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner introduces one of the most eye-opening concepts from her book Drained: mental load duplication. Drawing from research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, Leah explains why the mental load is uniquely wasteful — it's invisible, so multiple people can be doing the exact same thinking work simultaneously, burning through precious mental energy for zero extra benefit. If you've ever felt mentally exhausted but can't quite explain why, this episode is for you. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — the unpredictability of life (RIP Spuds 🐾) 02:20 What the mental load actually is — a crash course from Drained 04:38 Your mental load is like money — where is yours going? 05:30 What it means to spend over 100% in a mental load category 06:58 The research: why mental load duplication is totally unique 08:15 The Susan & John analogy — why duplicating work is always wasteful 09:16 Real examples of duplication at home: safety, dreams, school 11:39 Mental load burnout — the 5-question scale on LightenLab 12:30 How to get back into surplus — credits, rest, and reducing duplication 13:57 Practical tip: how to spot and stop your mental load duplication 15:00 Final thought — not everyone needs to hold the same mental load Resources Mentioned: 📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More — https://amzn.to/4tVRljQ 🧠 Free Mental Load Burnout Assessment — https://www.lightenlab.com Stay Connected with Leah: TikTok: @prof.leahruppanner Email: [email protected] Don't miss an episode! Subscribe NOW: /@missperceivedpodcast About MissPerceived: MissPerceived is a weekly podcast hosted by Professor Leah Ruppanner, sociologist and author of Drained. Each week, Leah breaks down the gender myths that shape our lives — from mental load and caregiving to relationships and identity. No PhD required. Just come hang out. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This description contains affiliate links. #MissPerceived #MentalLoad #Burnout #Drained #ProfLeahRuppanner