Why Chasing Approval and Control Is Destroying You

Nervous System Hijacked by Approval: Approval Addiction, Chronic Self Abandonment, and Chasing Control In this episode, Matt Codde, LCSW, explores what happens when your nervous system is hijacked by approval and you slowly slip into chronic self abandonment. He breaks down how approval addiction and tolerance for destruction quietly erode your sense of safety, shrink your world, and create the loss of authentic relationships—even while you look like “the good person” on the outside. Matt then turns to control, describing how we end up chasing a phantom called certainty and living in the illusion of playing God. He shows how fear convinces you that control equals safety, while in reality it leads to the erosion of creativity and spontaneity and a growing tolerance for destruction in your relationships, experiences, and everyday life. If you’re stuck in OCD, anxiety, people pleasing, or constant worry about what others think, this conversation will help you see the deeper fear loops behind your symptoms. It’s an invitation to stop abandoning yourself for approval and control, and begin living from authenticity, trust, and genuine connection. 🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode ✅ Understand what it means for your nervous system to be hijacked by approval. ✅ Learn how chronic self abandonment develops through people pleasing and self rejection. ✅ See why approval addiction leads to a quiet tolerance for destruction in your life. ✅ Recognize how chasing a phantom called control keeps you stuck in fear and anxiety. ✅ Explore the illusion of playing God and how it blocks trust in something deeper. ✅ Discover how fear erodes creativity and spontaneity, shrinking your world. ✅ Learn first steps to rebuild authentic relationships without abandoning yourself. 🚀 Resources to Help You Heal: 📥 FREE Recovery Guide Start your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance. 👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start 📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life. 👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT 📘 Taking Back Control (TBC) Program Learn how to apply these principles daily and dissolve anxiety at the root. 👉 Apply Now: https://www.restoredminds.com/tbc 🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support: ✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content. 👉    / restoredminds   ✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content: 👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD 👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30 ✅ Ask a Question for a future episode: 👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessm... ✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck 👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media: 🔹 Instagram:   / mattcodde.restoredminds   🔹 Facebook:   / mattcodde.restoredminds   🔹 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/restoredminds/ 🔹 TikTok:   / matthcodde.restoredminds   📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us! ⏱️ Timestamps 00:00 — What this episode is about: nervous system hijacked by approval 03:30 — Nervous system hijacked by approval and chronic self abandonment 07:20 — Approval addiction, resentment, and loss of authentic relationships 12:00 — Approval addiction and growing tolerance for destruction 17:20 — Chasing a Phantom: the illusion of control and playing God 23:30 — Erosion of creativity, spontaneity, and trust in life 29:00 — Waking up from fear loops and choosing authenticity over approval and control Disclaimer ⚠️This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Consult a licensed professional for personalized support.