128: Healing the Mother Wound: A Foundation for a Better World

We’re excited to welcome back Bethany Webster to the podcast since her last visit in November 2016 where we discussed the “Mother Wound”. Her 2014 article “Why it’s Crucial for Women to Heal the Mother Wound” went viral and brought worldwide attention to her body of work in feminism and women’s leadership and personal development. Bethany’s work addresses a crucial gap in women’s psychology and empowerment by comprehensively defining the Mother Wound and how it manifests in women’s lives (1:42). Bethany has a Master’s degree in psychology and completed training in Life Coaching from Joanna Lindenbaum and Holistic MBA. Prior to coaching, as a graduate student she focused on social psychology research on the intersection of race, class and gender. Post-grad school, she worked in academia in the area of research ethics and also as a writer/editor at Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City. Topics discussed in this episode: Healing the Mother Wound (3:07) Discovering the Inner Mother How the Work is Evolving and Resonating throughout the world Importance of this work during the Covid-19 pandemic (3:20) Impact on those healing from trauma or working on spiritual growth (4:59) Quick recap of the November 2016 episode with Bethany: What is the Mother Wound? (5:39) The connection between the Mother Wound and the patriarchy (5:45) The three levels of the Mother Wound (5:47) The connection between unhealthy motherhood behaviours patterns in adult life and the Mother Wound (5:50) Taboos and stereotypes about the Mother Wound (5:59) Benefits of openly discussing the Mother Wound (6:05) What is the Mother Wound (6:17) How 23 years as a client in depth psychotherapy started Bethany’s journey (6:43) Definition of the Mother Wound (7:13) The Four Levels of the Mother Wound (7:15) The Personal Level - how painful dynamics with our mothers shaped or limited how we see ourselves (7:21) The Cultural Level - how the Mother Wound is a product of living as a woman in a patriarchal society (8:17) The Spiritual Level - how pain between ourselves and our mothers, ranging from mild to traumatic, leads to an existential sense of feeling separate (9:18) The Planetary Level - how the Mother Wound impacts how we treat the planet (10:34) Goals of the work (11:53) Increase awareness of the urgency and primacy of healing the Mother Wound Human attachment is the base of conflicts and problems (12:09) Importance of transforming our culture into a place where all people can thrive (12:52) The depth and breadth of the Mother Wound (13:14) How the Mother Wound shows up in therapy (13:24) Self-criticism, perfectionism, comparison & competition between women Difficulty in showing self-compassion & receiving Acts of self sabotage Books exploring the Mother Wound The work of Clarissa Pinkola Estes which explores when the mother-child dynamic is not working (14:07) Bethany’s upcoming book, “The Inner Mother” (14:33) which is about nurturing and developing that part of yourself Resources discussing the Mother-Child Dynamic (15:32) Previous podcast discussing development trauma in infants with Selma Bacevac (15:03) https://lourdesviado.com/118-why-infa... Gabor Mate’s work regarding the impact of maternal trauma on infants in utero (15:43) https://drgabormate.com/ Healing the Mother Wound as a foundation for creating a new world (16:15) Our defenses around our pain (16:23) Projecting onto others, fearing connecting, pushing people away & sabotaging ourselves When our defenses become barriers to our thriving and potential (17:59) Understanding our Safety Algorithm as a coping mechanism (18:24) Understanding and filling the Mother Gaps (19:14) Definition of the Mother Gaps (19:22) Unconscious coping skills we’ve developed to fill those gaps (19:31) Filling the gap by building internal resilience (19:53) Gifts of Healing the Inner Mother (20:26) Leadership qualities, speaking truth, standing their ground, pursuing their dreams, expanded capacity for pleasure and good things Restructuring the brain (20:46) Comparing the inner child to the amygdala and the inner mother as the prefrontal cortex Building new connections and accessing new choices & possibilities The Mother Wound as a pattern of behavior we developed as children that is no longer serving us as adults and the response to a particular situation is an emotional memory (22:13) Learning to be with challenging emotions as part of Inner Mothering work (22:45) Simple steps to begin healing the Mother Wound (22:55) Connecting with your inner child (23:10) Concerns and fears of connecting with your inner child are normal (25:12) If you are feeling stuck or stumped, give yourself lots of empathy (25:57) Connecting with your inner child as a tool for getting through tough moments (26:19) Journaling exercises (26:30) What did you need as a child...