Episode 183: Are You Mad at Me? Friendship Anxiety and the Need for Validation @MegJosephson

📌Are You Mad at Me? Friendship Anxiety and the Need for Validation with guest ‪@MegJosephson‬ If you tend to assume someone’s upset with you when their tone shifts, when they don’t text back right away, or when you notice even the smallest change in their availability, this episode is for you. And if you have a friend who often asks, “Are you mad at me?” or seems to assume you are, this conversation will help you understand what’s happening underneath that pattern. In this episode, I’m joined by licensed psychotherapist Meg Josephson, author of Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You. We talk about people pleasing, anxiety in friendships, and the constant low-level worry so many of us carry: Did I say the wrong thing? Did I mess something up? Am I in trouble? Meg explains why people pleasing isn’t a personality trait or a weakness, but a survival response called fawning. Many of us learned it early in life as a way to stay safe, liked, and connected. In adulthood, though, it often shows up as overthinking, over-apologizing, and a constant focus on how we’re being perceived—especially in our closest friendships. If you want to be a good friend but feel tired, resentful, or like you’re always trying to get it “right,” this conversation will likely resonate. In this episode, we discuss: -Why you can’t control how other people see you, no matter how carefully you try -What the fawn response is and how it shows up in adult friendships -How people pleasing leads to anxiety, burnout, and quiet resentment -The difference between reassurance-seeking and real emotional connection -Why constantly needing reassurance can strain friendships -How growing up around criticism or gossip can make you feel perpetually judged -Finding the balance between showing up for people and over-functioning -Why resentment is a signal worth paying attention to -A practical mindfulness tool for interrupting anxiety spirals -How social media intensifies people pleasing and validation-seeking -Learning how to tolerate discomfort without immediately trying to fix it About my guest: Meg Josephson is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in trauma-informed care through a compassion-focused lens. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University and is a certified meditation teacher through the Nalanda Institute. Her book, Are You Mad at Me?, explores why so many of us live in a constant state of hypervigilance—and how to step out of it. 🔗 Check out other Dear Nina episodes! Ep. 143 — The Law of Rejection in Friendships (with @HelpMeHarlan )    • Episode 143: The Law of Rejection in Frien...   Ep. 146 — Tolerate Uncertainty & Stop the Overthinking Spiral (with Dr. Jackie Henry)    • Episode 146: Tolerate Uncertainty & Stop O...   Ep. 132 — The Four Types of Connection (with @SuperPsychedPodcastwithDrAdamD )    • Episode 132: The Power of the 4 Types of C...   Ep. 180 - Mean Mom Culture, Relational Aggression, and Belonging vs. Inclusion (with Dr. Noelle Santorelli)    • Episode 180: Mean Moms: When Adult Friends...   Ep. 151 — Myths Around Adult Friendships (with Jazzmyn Proctor @healingwithjazzmyn )    • Episode 151: Myths Around Adult Friendship...   Ep. 160 — Live Show in Chicago    • Episode 160: From the Cafeteria to the Mah...   Ep. 172 — What BEACHES Gets Right About Friendship    • Episode 172: What the Movie “Beaches” Gets...   🌟 LET’S CONNECT OVER ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP! 💛 Substack Newsletter: https://dearnina.substack.com 💛   / nina-badzin-179b1284   💛   / dearninafriendship   💛   / dearninafriendship   💛   / dearninab   💛   / ninabadzin   💛 https://ninabadzin.com 💛 Threads: https://www.threads.net/@dearninafrie... #FriendshipAdvice #HowToBeABetterFriend #ConversationSkills #DearNina #FriendshipPodcast #AdultFriendship #FriendshipChallenge #conversation #betterconversations #friendshipadvice #friendshipskills #friendshipgoals #friendshipbreakup #attachmentstyles