7 types of love most people will never experience (and which one actually lasts)
psychologist robert sternberg spent his career studying love and found that it's made of three ingredients — intimacy, passion, and commitment — and depending how you mix them you get seven completely different types. most people have only experienced three or four of them. and the one that actually lasts is probably not the one you're chasing. liking — intimacy alone. close friendship. real and warm but no romantic spark and no promise of permanence. infatuation — passion alone. the crush. the obsession. the i cannot stop thinking about them. burns out within 18 months to 3 years according to limerence research. empty love — commitment alone. the marriage that stayed together for the kids. no spark, no deep connection, just the decision to stay. tragic or a starting point, depending. romantic love — intimacy plus passion, no commitment. the affair. the short relationship that felt everything until someone asked what are we and both people got scared. companionate love — intimacy plus commitment, no passion. the long-term partnership where the fire faded but the connection and the choice to stay are still there. most people think this is settling. i think it's the most underrated type of love that exists. fatuous love — passion plus commitment, no intimacy. the vegas wedding. fire and promises without foundation. when the passion fades there's nothing left. consummate love — all three. intimacy, passion, commitment. what everyone is chasing. also the hardest to maintain because all three components fluctuate independently and keeping them all up at the same time is almost impossible. and the type that actually lasts in long-term relationships according to gottman's research is companionate love. intimacy plus commitment. the steady low-maintenance glow instead of the forest fire. as an asexual person this is where i've always started. and what i learned is that everyone who maintains a relationship long enough eventually arrives there too. the couples at 30, 40, 50 years — they're all in companionate love. the passion declined. what's left is what i usually start with. which means what everyone eventually discovers is what i always knew. ✨ Subscribe: https://riadumitrescu.substack.com/ 🔗 Instagram: / ria.dms 💌 Contact: [email protected] 🎥 Watch more: Becoming intellectual 🕯️: • becoming intellectual ✦ Side questing every day: • side-questing every day if you're searching for: types of love psychology, robert sternberg triangular theory of love, 7 types of love, consummate love, companionate love, infatuation vs love, what type of love lasts, limerence, love psychology, intimacy passion commitment, which love lasts longest, gottman research love, asexual and love, types of relationships, love and psychology explained, relationship psychology this is for you. #typesoflo ve #robertsternberg #triangulartheoryoflove #7typesoflove #consummate love #companionatelove #infatuation #limerence #lovepsychology #intimacypassioncommitment #gottman #asexual #whatlovelasts #relationshippsychology #lovescience #intentionalliving #loveandfriendship

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