Episode #453: They're Watching How You Treat Yourself

What if the people around you are learning how to value you by watching how you value yourself? Every Mother's Day, we're surrounded by messages celebrating sacrifice. The cards often thank mothers for giving up everything for their families. But what if that's not actually the lesson we want our children to learn? In this episode, we're exploring the powerful impact of what we model through our daily choices, not just what we say, but what we consistently do. About the episode: Many high-achieving women have become experts at taking care of everyone else. We show up, solve problems, carry responsibilities, and keep things running. The world often rewards us for being endlessly capable and selfless. But there's a hidden cost. In this episode, I unpack the Type C pattern—the tendency to prioritize everyone else's needs while continually putting your own at the bottom of the list. We explore what children, partners, friends, and colleagues learn when they watch us consistently treat our own needs as optional. This conversation isn't about booking a spa day or finding more hours in the week. It's about something much deeper: creating small but meaningful ways to honor what matters to you and modeling a healthier relationship with yourself. Because people learn from what we do, not just what we say. What you’ll learn: • Why Mother's Day messages often reinforce unhealthy ideas about sacrifice • What my own children's handwritten cards revealed about what they actually notice • The Type C personality pattern and why it gets rewarded • What children learn when they watch us constantly put ourselves last • Why self-care isn't really the point • What "microdosing your own needs" looks like in everyday life • Real examples of creating space for yourself without overhauling your life • How strategic selfishness can benefit the people you love most • Why modeling self-respect may be one of the greatest gifts you can give your family Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:30 The Mother's Day card message I keep noticing 05:15 What my kids' handwritten cards taught me instead 11:40 The Type C personality and why the world rewards it 16:20 What children actually absorb when they watch us disappear 22:10 Why I'm not telling you to go get a massage 25:45 What microdosing your own needs really looks like 29:30 Real examples from my own life 34:50 Why strategic selfishness might be the most generous thing you can model Links & Resources: 👉 Book an Exploratory Coaching Call: https://brilliant-balance.com/explore 👉 Join The Coaching Circle: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachin... 👉 Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: https://www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly 👉 Follow Cherylanne on Instagram:   / cskolnicki   Subscribe for more: If you're a high-achieving woman trying to create success without sacrificing yourself, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Each week, you'll get practical strategies, mindset shifts, and real-life coaching insights to help you thrive at work, at home, and in life—without losing yourself in the process.