Why Nice Guys Finish Last | Marni Kinrys and Adam Lane Smith

👉Start building secure attachment for FREE. Create your Secure Circle account and get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join FREE today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secu... 👉 Ready for more? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus and get the complete attachment program with courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, private community, and session archive. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secu... Most men today are doing everything they have been told to do to attract a woman. They are being kind, accommodating, agreeable, and endlessly pleasing. And it is working against them every single time. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Marni Kinrys, dating coach and wing girl to men for over 22 years, for one of the most honest and practical conversations about what women actually feel on a date, why nice guys keep finishing last, and what the science says about why the very thing men think is working is exactly what is destroying their chances. What you will learn in this conversation: 1- Why a woman's attraction can completely reverse within minutes of a first impression and what actually changes it 2- The four S's that create attraction in women and why most men are accidentally hitting zero of them 3- Why a nervous man does not just fail to attract a woman but actively makes her feel unsafe and what her nervous system does as a result 4- Why a woman who soothes a nervous man on a first date has already decided she will never sleep with him 5- Why nice guys are training women to see them as employees instead of leaders and what that costs them in every relationship 6- Why avoidant men are not just born that way and how anxious men are actually creating avoidant women without knowing it 7- What vasopressin bonding is why men can only get it from other men and what happens when they never do 8- Why the CEO and COO model of marriage is the only dynamic that actually makes both people happy 9- What Marni's husband finally understood after she sent him ten Instagram posts that changed everything between them If you are a man who has been working hard to make women happy and wondering why it never seems to work, or a woman who wants to finally understand why the men she loves keep getting it wrong, this conversation will give you both the answer and the path forward. 📚 WORK WITH ME 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/priv... 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/atta... 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-... Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram:   / attachmentadam   TikTok:   / attachmentbro   X:   / adamlanesmith   Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook:   / adamlanesmith   I Wish You Knew Podcast:    / @iwishyouknewpodcast   Marni Kinrys: Youtube:    / marnikinrys   CHAPTERS: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:00:55 Why Women's Attraction Can Completely Reverse After the First Impression 00:02:30 The Four S's That Actually Create Attraction in Women 00:04:00 Why Making Her Feel Safe Is the Most Important Thing a Man Can Do 00:06:30 The OSR Method for Breaking Into Conversation Without Awkwardness 00:08:00 Why a Nervous Man Makes Women Feel Unsafe and What She Does About It 00:10:00 Why the Woman Who Soothes Him on the First Date Will Never Date Him 00:12:00 Why Nice Guys Have Been Trained to Please Women and Why It Never Works 00:14:30 Why Most Men Are Dancing for a Woman's Amusement Instead of Leading 00:42:43 Why Men Need to Lead the Turning Point Conversation 00:45:00 Why Vasopressin Bonding With Other Men Is What Most Men Never Got 00:49:07 Why Men Need to Stop Being the Household Alexa 00:53:14 Why Men Being Reactive Instead of Responsive Is What Kills Attraction 00:56:00 Why Angry Male Communities Make Things Worse Not Better 01:00:00 What Marni's Husband Finally Understood That Changed Everything 01:02:00 What a Happy Wife Actually Looks Like From the Inside 01:04:00 Where to Find Marni and Final Thoughts